Chapter 52

Inner Reflection | home

JC stepped to the side, his good arm resting on his hip as Lance came out of the room. "You ready?" Lance nodded and shut the door behind him with a soft click. JC rested his hand on the small of Lance's back and they started for the door. "You okay?"

"Fine," Lance sighed, his voice sounding distracted. "Where are Joey and Chris?"

"They're already at the hospital. Justin called and was complaining about no one being there except for the nurse. And apparently, she was fifty-four years old."

"Poor Justin," Lance said, a smile flickering across his face. JC snorted. "Yeah right. All we'd have to do to get him to stop calling is call up a couple twelve year old girls."

"Oh sure," Lance said. "Lemme just whip out my phone here..." He held the door open for JC, who laughed and stepped outside.

"Joey, stop! That's mine!" Justin complained, trying in vain to grab the remote from the TV back. "Come on..."

"Aww, the poor invalid wants to watch TV..." Joey teased. He started flipping the channels when suddenly, Justin saw something.

"Turn that back," he said, his tone suddenly serious.

Joey complied. It was MTV. "...member of *NSYNC is in the hospital..." John Norris was saying.

"They know?" Justin asked incredulously. He sighed, but the broadcast continued.

"Band members JC and Lance were apparently driving in the rain and were involved in a collision..."

"No word yet on their conditions, but we have seen Joey and Chris go into the hospital..."

"What about me?" Justin asked.

John Norris continued, almost as if he'd heard the question. "What about Justin? Word has it that he's on a 'secret' rendezvous with Britney Spears in..."

Justin screamed just as JC and Lance walked in the door. Lance winced. "Will someone shut him up? What happened?"

Joey covered Justin's face with a pillow. "You and JC are in the hospital and Justin's visiting Britney."

Lance and JC doubled over laughing. Chris and Joey joined in. Justin glared at them angrily. "Be happy you're not the one in the bed," he said, pointing a finger. "I hate you."

"No you don't," Lance said. "Hate's a very strong word," he lectured. "Just because you're mad at us doesn't mean you have to..." he started pointing a finger.

"This is why you're so damn religious, isn't it? You're a freaking angel," Chris said, shaking his head. The mood suddenly shifted and Chris looked at the floor. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean..."

"Don't worry about it," Lance said. "It's all right." But they all knew it wasn't all right. The mood was lost.

*~*The Next Day*~*

JC looked after Lance's retreating form. It had been a long and exhausting day. Lance was leaving tomorrow and everyone was in denial, still. Even after the events of the day.

"Nice and easy, J, slow..." JC coached.

"Just shut up," Justin grumbled. "I KNOW I'm supposed to walk slow. It hurts if I don't. I'm not that stupid. Lance, I know how you feel now."

Lance laughed and JC looked hurt. "Sorry babe. But it's true." JC looked even more hurt and Lance sighed dramatically. "Come here hon." JC complied. "Sorry."

"No you're not. Am I really that smothering?" JC asked, intertwining his fingers with Lance's.

Lance shook his head vehemently. "Only when someone's hurt or something. Which is understandable...but the rest of the time you...well..."

JC understood what Lance was implying. He knew he didn't exactly lavish his boyfriend with attention; but he knew Lance didn't mind. Or did he? Now he wished he had...wished he'd cherished every touch, every kiss, every word spoken..."Sorry," he said.

Lance shook his head again. "Don't be," he said. "It's one of the things I love about you. I know you need space sometimes; everyone does." One of the things I love about you. JC liked the sound of that. "Well I love everything about you," he said.

"Oh no. Here they go again," Chris moaned.

"Shut up or you won't get your present," Lance said, busying himself by staring at JC's lips.

"You should be," JC said, deciding they'd stared long enough. He pulled Lance in closer and kissed him before the others broke them apart.

"Come on, we have to get the victim of the knifing accident inside before he keels over," Joey said.

"That wasn't an accident!" Justin proclaimed. "They WANTED to slice me open. They're probably going to put the stupid thing up for auction!"

"Yeah, right. Pop superstar's appendix. Yuck." Lance made a face.

"You know, they showed me what it looked like," Justin said in a conspiratorial whisper, leaning forward into Lance's face.

"They did not!" Lance said.

"Yes they did! It was slimy and when they moved it, it jiggled, and..."

"Justin! Shut up!" Lance yelled, covering his face.

"JUSTIN!" He covered his ears. "Leave me alone." The doorbell rang and Lance checked his watch. "Oh, I almost forgot..." he jogged back to the front door and opened it. "Hey Derek," everyone else heard him say. Then he yelled. "CHRIS! Your...gift...present...thing is here!"

Chris looked at the other guys curiously, and walked to the front door. "Oh my GOD! You're...you're...supposed to be..."

JC walked to the door, and saw Chris standing there, shock written plain as day across his face. He looked and saw someone standing at the door with a smile on their face. He looked curiously at Lance, but he only smiled and pushed Chris out the door. "You have three hours," Lance told him.

JC rubbed his temples. Lance had explained that Derek was an old friend of Chris' that he'd managed to get a hold of...an old friend that had been dead for ten years. Later, he'd showed up with Justin's dead sister. Actually, Laura Katherine had died shortly after birth; but Lance explained that had she lived, she would have been one of the few that had a spirit they needed to grow into. Her spirit was really about Justin's age, so that's what she looked like. Apparently. Chris and Derek had caught up, Justin and Laura talked and...got to know each other? He sighed. Then the two visitors had to leave...Justin was so upset about that...JC sighed again in remembrance and tears burned in the back of his eyes. Lance was leaving the next day. The next day! It was all so damn surreal. He couldn't believe it; Lance couldn't leave...not now, not when they were finally happy.

Just then, Lance came in the door, dressed for bed. "Baby? You okay?" he asked, seeing the stricken look on JC's face.

JC shook his head and Lance walked over to him immediately. "You're really leaving tomorrow, aren't you?" he sobbed. "This is our last night together. The last night I'll ever be able to hold you."

"No! You're leaving...you can't go...please don't go...please...don't leave me..." Lance took JC in his arms. "No...no...I don't want you to go...I love you SO MUCH, Lance...I don't want you to leave..."

Lance had tears coursing down his cheeks. "Josh, you know I'd do anything...ANYTHING I could to stay here with you. I love you too, Josh...I don't want to leave you. I don't want to go."

Chris sat in his room. Surreal. Unbelievable. He had just had a conversation with a dead friend. D-E-A-D. Like Lance...who was leaving the next day. Leaving. How did everything get so out of control? He didn't understand...didn't understand why Lance had to go. What was so bad about falling in love? It's not like love was WRONG...and apparently, neither was being gay. But he knew that already. Lance the gay guardian angel. How ironic. Chris smiled at that. Oh yes, he could see Lance prancing around on clouds...maybe jumping like a ballerina...but that would mean he'd left...left...

He didn't want to say goodbye. Not just to his...sister, but to his friend. His brother. He didn't want to say goodbye. Justin ran a hand through his curls. He sighed and turned over gingerly, wincing at the pain the simple act inflicted. Amazing what you took for granted...rolling over...until you couldn't have it anymore.

Like Lance. They'd all thought he would always be there, the business minded one, the one that kept their heads screwed on straight, listened to their problems. Lance, who would argue with Lou when no one else wanted to. Lance, who could smile at a fan and make her feel like the most important person on the planet. Sure, they could all do that, to an extent, but Lance could really make them feel special. He couldn't go. Lance...go. It was like a dream. A dream he wanted to wake up from, wake up, wake up, wake up...

Joey tossed and turned in his bed. He couldn't believe Lance had to go. He couldn't believe Steve had called him and asked him how the HELL he knew he needed a blood test because the doctors had told him he had an abnormal white blood cell count and if it had gone unnoticed ANY longer, they wouldn't be able to treat it. He couldn't believe Lance had to go away for falling in love. But most of all, he couldn't believe himself. He felt...angry. Not because Lance had to go, no...but because...he wasn't really sharing anything with Lance now. Before everyone knew about Lance, he'd had a secret, something to protect. He knew he was being ridiculous, and he pushed the thoughts out of his mind and tried to concentrate on something other than the fact that Lance was going. But he couldn't help it. Lance was HIS angel, dammit, and he didn't want him to leave. Didn't he get a say in whether or not his guardian angel could stay? Didn't he?


	Inner Reflection \| home back to Sent From Above Chapter 52 JC stepped to the side, his good arm resting on his hip as Lance came out of the room. "You ready?" Lance nodded and shut the door behind him with a soft click. JC rested his hand on the small of Lance's back and they started for the door. "You okay?" "Fine," Lance sighed, his voice sounding distracted. "Where are Joey and Chris?" "They're already at the hospital. Justin called and was complaining about no one being there except for the nurse. And apparently, she was fifty-four years old." "Poor Justin," Lance said, a smile flickering across his face. JC snorted. "Yeah right. All we'd have to do to get him to stop calling is call up a couple twelve year old girls." "Oh sure," Lance said. "Lemme just whip out my phone here..." He held the door open for JC, who laughed and stepped outside. * "Joey, stop! That's mine!" Justin complained, trying in vain to grab the remote from the TV back. "Come on..." "Aww, the poor invalid wants to watch TV..." Joey teased. He started flipping the channels when suddenly, Justin saw something. "Turn that back," he said, his tone suddenly serious. Joey complied. It was MTV. "...member of NSYNC is in the hospital..." John Norris was saying. "They know?" Justin asked incredulously. He sighed, but the broadcast continued. "Band members JC and Lance were apparently driving in the rain and were involved in a collision..." "Oh dear." "No word yet on their conditions, but we have seen Joey and Chris go into the hospital..." "What about me?" Justin asked. John Norris continued, almost as if he'd heard the question. "What about Justin? Word has it that he's on a 'secret' rendezvous with Britney Spears in..." Justin screamed just as JC and Lance walked in the door. Lance winced. "Will someone shut him up? What happened?" Joey covered Justin's face with a pillow. "You and JC are in the hospital and Justin's visiting Britney." Lance and JC doubled over laughing. Chris and Joey joined in. Justin glared at them angrily. "Be happy you're not the one in the bed," he said, pointing a finger. "I hate you." "No you don't," Lance said. "Hate's a very strong word," he lectured. "Just because you're mad at us doesn't mean you have to..." he started pointing a finger. "This is why you're so damn religious, isn't it? You're a freaking angel," Chris said, shaking his head. The mood suddenly shifted and Chris looked at the floor. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean..." "Don't worry about it," Lance said. "It's all right." But they all knew it wasn't all right. The mood was lost. *~The Next Day~** JC looked after Lance's retreating form. It had been a long and exhausting day. Lance was leaving tomorrow and everyone was in denial, still. Even after the events of the day. ~Flashback~ "Nice and easy, J, slow..." JC coached. "Just shut up," Justin grumbled. "I KNOW I'm supposed to walk slow. It hurts if I don't. I'm not that stupid. Lance, I know how you feel now." Lance laughed and JC looked hurt. "Sorry babe. But it's true." JC looked even more hurt and Lance sighed dramatically. "Come here hon." JC complied. "Sorry." "No you're not. Am I really that smothering?" JC asked, intertwining his fingers with Lance's. Lance shook his head vehemently. "Only when someone's hurt or something. Which is understandable...but the rest of the time you...well..." JC understood what Lance was implying. He knew he didn't exactly lavish his boyfriend with attention; but he knew Lance didn't mind. Or did he? Now he wished he had...wished he'd cherished every touch, every kiss, every word spoken..."Sorry," he said. Lance shook his head again. "Don't be," he said. "It's one of the things I love about you. I know you need space sometimes; everyone does." One of the things I love about you. JC liked the sound of that. "Well I love everything about you," he said. "Oh no. Here they go again," Chris moaned. "Shut up or you won't get your present," Lance said, busying himself by staring at JC's lips. "I'm scared." "You should be," JC said, deciding they'd stared long enough. He pulled Lance in closer and kissed him before the others broke them apart. "Come on, we have to get the victim of the knifing accident inside before he keels over," Joey said. "That wasn't an accident!" Justin proclaimed. "They WANTED to slice me open. They're probably going to put the stupid thing up for auction!" "Yeah, right. Pop superstar's appendix. Yuck." Lance made a face. "You know, they showed me what it looked like," Justin said in a conspiratorial whisper, leaning forward into Lance's face. "They did not!" Lance said. "Yes they did! It was slimy and when they moved it, it jiggled, and..." "Justin! Shut up!" Lance yelled, covering his face. "And it was..." "JUSTIN!" He covered his ears. "Leave me alone." The doorbell rang and Lance checked his watch. "Oh, I almost forgot..." he jogged back to the front door and opened it. "Hey Derek," everyone else heard him say. Then he yelled. "CHRIS! Your...gift...present...thing is here!" Chris looked at the other guys curiously, and walked to the front door. "Oh my GOD! You're...you're...supposed to be..." JC walked to the door, and saw Chris standing there, shock written plain as day across his face. He looked and saw someone standing at the door with a smile on their face. He looked curiously at Lance, but he only smiled and pushed Chris out the door. "You have three hours," Lance told him. ~End Flashback~ JC rubbed his temples. Lance had explained that Derek was an old friend of Chris' that he'd managed to get a hold of...an old friend that had been dead for ten years. Later, he'd showed up with Justin's dead sister. Actually, Laura Katherine had died shortly after birth; but Lance explained that had she lived, she would have been one of the few that had a spirit they needed to grow into. Her spirit was really about Justin's age, so that's what she looked like. Apparently. Chris and Derek had caught up, Justin and Laura talked and...got to know each other? He sighed. Then the two visitors had to leave...Justin was so upset about that...JC sighed again in remembrance and tears burned in the back of his eyes. Lance was leaving the next day. The next day! It was all so damn surreal. He couldn't believe it; Lance couldn't leave...not now, not when they were finally happy. Just then, Lance came in the door, dressed for bed. "Baby? You okay?" he asked, seeing the stricken look on JC's face. JC shook his head and Lance walked over to him immediately. "You're really leaving tomorrow, aren't you?" he sobbed. "This is our last night together. The last night I'll ever be able to hold you." "Oh, Josh..." "No! You're leaving...you can't go...please don't go...please...don't leave me..." Lance took JC in his arms. "No...no...I don't want you to go...I love you SO MUCH, Lance...I don't want you to leave..." Lance had tears coursing down his cheeks. "Josh, you know I'd do anything...ANYTHING I could to stay here with you. I love you too, Josh...I don't want to leave you. I don't want to go." * Chris sat in his room. Surreal. Unbelievable. He had just had a conversation with a dead friend. D-E-A-D. Like Lance...who was leaving the next day. Leaving. How did everything get so out of control? He didn't understand...didn't understand why Lance had to go. What was so bad about falling in love? It's not like love was WRONG...and apparently, neither was being gay. But he knew that already. Lance the gay guardian angel. How ironic. Chris smiled at that. Oh yes, he could see Lance prancing around on clouds...maybe jumping like a ballerina...but that would mean he'd left...left... * He didn't want to say goodbye. Not just to his...sister, but to his friend. His brother. He didn't want to say goodbye. Justin ran a hand through his curls. He sighed and turned over gingerly, wincing at the pain the simple act inflicted. Amazing what you took for granted...rolling over...until you couldn't have it anymore. Like Lance. They'd all thought he would always be there, the business minded one, the one that kept their heads screwed on straight, listened to their problems. Lance, who would argue with Lou when no one else wanted to. Lance, who could smile at a fan and make her feel like the most important person on the planet. Sure, they could all do that, to an extent, but Lance could really make them feel special. He couldn't go. Lance...go. It was like a dream. A dream he wanted to wake up from, wake up, wake up, wake up... * Joey tossed and turned in his bed. He couldn't believe Lance had to go. He couldn't believe Steve had called him and asked him how the HELL he knew he needed a blood test because the doctors had told him he had an abnormal white blood cell count and if it had gone unnoticed ANY longer, they wouldn't be able to treat it. He couldn't believe Lance had to go away for falling in love. But most of all, he couldn't believe himself. He felt...angry. Not because Lance had to go, no...but because...he wasn't really sharing anything with Lance now. Before everyone knew about Lance, he'd had a secret, something to protect. He knew he was being ridiculous, and he pushed the thoughts out of his mind and tried to concentrate on something other than the fact that Lance was going. But he couldn't help it. Lance was HIS angel, dammit, and he didn't want him to leave. Didn't he get a say in whether or not his guardian angel could stay? Didn't he?