Chapter 13

Inner Reflection | home

back to Secret Desires

Chapter 13

LOVE YOUR ENEMIES.

*THE BIBLE, MATTHEW 5:44

CHAPTER THIRTEEN-SPEAKING WITH THE ENEMY

The knocking on his door pulled Lance away from his laptop. He wished he could ignore the knocking, he had a lot of work to do, but he was almost grateful for the break. He just hoped it wasn't Justin, trying to get him to go play basketball. This was their one day off for the week, and he really needed to get caught up on his stuff for FreeLance.

He stretched as he walked towards the door, feeling the stiffness in his neck. This whole thing with JC was really getting to him. He wasn't sleeping right, he wasn't eating right, he was spending way too much time out with Joey at the clubs, and he was tense and nervous around JC. He wanted to talk to him so bad, find out what exactly the problem was, because instinctively, he knew it went beyond his being gay. Unless he judged JC wrong, he was pissed at something else. Of course, it could be on top of the fact that he was gay, but Lance chose to ignore that fact.

He opened the door and his mouth dropped open in shock.

“Hey, Lance,” Bobbi said, smiling.

“Bobbi,” Lance managed to get out, “what are you doing here?”

“I'm assuming JC didn't tell you,” she said with a roll of her eyes, “but I'm here with you guys for the next week.” She looked at him, “Can I come in?”

Lance shook himself out of his stupor, “Yeah, sure, sorry.” He shut the door behind her and followed her into the room, wondering why she was standing at his door.

She glanced at the bed and the desk, each were covered with papers. “Am I interrupting? Is this a bad time?”

“No,” Lance assured her, feeling somewhat nervous, “It's just some stuff for FreeLance.” He smiled at her, “I could use a break,” he lied. He moved to the balcony, “Do you want to go outside, there's not really much room in here.”

She nodded, “Yeah, that's fine.” Following him out to the balcony, she stood next to him at the rail, taking a deep breath. Below them, traffic moved slowly, occasionally, a horn could be heard. They stood in silence for a minute before she took a deep breath, plunging right in. “JC told me.”

Lance hung his head, closing his eyes, “Oh,” was all he could say.

She turned to him, placing a hand on his arm, “I'm sorry.”

Lance opened his eyes and turned to her, “Sorry? For what? It's not your fault that I'm like this.”

Bobbi shook her head, “Lance, you are not `like' anything, don't say it like that. Don't let how JC is reacting to this take any kind of control over your life.” She saw him flinch at the mention of JC's name, and she felt his arm tense beneath her hand. “Anyway, I was actually apologizing for JC. He's being an ass,” she said frankly.

Lance laughed at her bluntness. “Did you tell him that?” he asked, looking sideways at her.

She smirked, “As a matter of fact, I did. He didn't take it too well.” She smiled at Lance, and they moved to sit on the chairs. “Seriously, Lance, I talked to him, and there's so many things he's mad at,” she took a deep breath, “I don't even know where to start.”

Lance snorted, “Well, we can start with the fact that I'm gay.”

Bobbi shook her head, “No, I don't really think that's it, so much. I mean, it threw him for a loop, and for some reason, I think that's all he can think about, but he's not mad at that. He's more mad that you told Joey first.”

Lance allowed himself a little smile, “Well, I didn't exactly tell Joey. He found out.”

Bobbi's eyes got wide, “He found out?” she asked, a smile tugging at her lips, “You mean he…”

Lance looked at her and blushed, “God, no! I haven't been with anyone, if that's what you're thinking!” She laughed and he turned a deeper shade of red, “No, he knew something was bothering me, and well some things happened, and he just put two and two together.”

Bobbi cocked her head, “How did Joey figure it out before JC? I know that you and JC are close.”

Lance stopped smiling, “We were close, we're not anymore.”

Bobbi cursed JC under her breath when she saw the sad look on Lance's face. He was staring across the top of the city, not really looking at anything, his green eyes focused on a point in the distance. He missed JC, she could see that plain as day on his face.

“You miss him, don't you?” she asked softly.

Lance turned to her. What was he doing sitting here, talking about JC with his girlfriend? God, if she found out…well, things would be disastrous. But instead of changing the subject, he found himself responding to her question, “Yeah, I do.” He looked at his jeans, picking at a loose thread. “We used to talk all the time, about everything, and we don't even talk anymore. He can barely stand to be in the same room as me.” He looked at Bobbi, “And you know, he's still my best friend. I still find myself going to call him to tell him something. I can tell him things that I can't tell Joey or Chris, or Justin, I always could. And now, I don't have that.” He looked back out over the city. “There's so many things I want to talk to him about. Sure, I told Joey about me being gay first, but that doesn't mean anything. If Joey wouldn't have guessed, I wouldn't have told him. And I'm so confused about so many things. JC was always the person I would go to if I had a problem. I hate that I can't do that anymore.”

Lance glanced up at Bobbi to see her studying him in the afternoon sun. He blushed and looked away, suddenly embarrassed at saying so much, at pouring out the things he was thinking. But it felt good to tell someone, he had been keeping it inside for far too long. He missed JC. And not just because he had feelings for him. He missed his friend, his confidant.

“Give him time, Lance,” Bobbi said softly, meeting his eyes, “He's working out issues that I don't think he even realizes yet.” There was a faraway look in her eyes that faded as quickly as it appeared. “He'll come around, I'm sure of it.”

Lance gave her a lopsided smile, “You're not half bad,” he said.

Bobbi threw her head back and laughed, “God, Lance, what did you think? That I was this horrible person who had no feelings?”

Lance shrugged, “Something like that.”

Bobbi left a few minutes later, saying her and JC had plans for dinner, and she had to get ready. Lance walked her to the door, surprised at the fact that he had actually enjoyed their talk. Bobbi wasn't as bad as he thought, and if he had just taken the time to talk to her, maybe he would have realized that before.

Although, he was still in love with her boyfriend, so not too much had changed.


	Inner Reflection \| home back to Secret Desires Chapter 13 LOVE YOUR ENEMIES. *THE BIBLE, MATTHEW 5:44 CHAPTER THIRTEEN-SPEAKING WITH THE ENEMY The knocking on his door pulled Lance away from his laptop. He wished he could ignore the knocking, he had a lot of work to do, but he was almost grateful for the break. He just hoped it wasn't Justin, trying to get him to go play basketball. This was their one day off for the week, and he really needed to get caught up on his stuff for FreeLance. He stretched as he walked towards the door, feeling the stiffness in his neck. This whole thing with JC was really getting to him. He wasn't sleeping right, he wasn't eating right, he was spending way too much time out with Joey at the clubs, and he was tense and nervous around JC. He wanted to talk to him so bad, find out what exactly the problem was, because instinctively, he knew it went beyond his being gay. Unless he judged JC wrong, he was pissed at something else. Of course, it could be on top of the fact that he was gay, but Lance chose to ignore that fact. He opened the door and his mouth dropped open in shock. “Hey, Lance,” Bobbi said, smiling. “Bobbi,” Lance managed to get out, “what are you doing here?” “I'm assuming JC didn't tell you,” she said with a roll of her eyes, “but I'm here with you guys for the next week.” She looked at him, “Can I come in?” Lance shook himself out of his stupor, “Yeah, sure, sorry.” He shut the door behind her and followed her into the room, wondering why she was standing at his door. She glanced at the bed and the desk, each were covered with papers. “Am I interrupting? Is this a bad time?” “No,” Lance assured her, feeling somewhat nervous, “It's just some stuff for FreeLance.” He smiled at her, “I could use a break,” he lied. He moved to the balcony, “Do you want to go outside, there's not really much room in here.” She nodded, “Yeah, that's fine.” Following him out to the balcony, she stood next to him at the rail, taking a deep breath. Below them, traffic moved slowly, occasionally, a horn could be heard. They stood in silence for a minute before she took a deep breath, plunging right in. “JC told me.” Lance hung his head, closing his eyes, “Oh,” was all he could say. She turned to him, placing a hand on his arm, “I'm sorry.” Lance opened his eyes and turned to her, “Sorry? For what? It's not your fault that I'm like this.” Bobbi shook her head, “Lance, you are not `like' anything, don't say it like that. Don't let how JC is reacting to this take any kind of control over your life.” She saw him flinch at the mention of JC's name, and she felt his arm tense beneath her hand. “Anyway, I was actually apologizing for JC. He's being an ass,” she said frankly. Lance laughed at her bluntness. “Did you tell him that?” he asked, looking sideways at her. She smirked, “As a matter of fact, I did. He didn't take it too well.” She smiled at Lance, and they moved to sit on the chairs. “Seriously, Lance, I talked to him, and there's so many things he's mad at,” she took a deep breath, “I don't even know where to start.” Lance snorted, “Well, we can start with the fact that I'm gay.” Bobbi shook her head, “No, I don't really think that's it, so much. I mean, it threw him for a loop, and for some reason, I think that's all he can think about, but he's not mad at that. He's more mad that you told Joey first.” Lance allowed himself a little smile, “Well, I didn't exactly tell Joey. He found out.” Bobbi's eyes got wide, “He found out?” she asked, a smile tugging at her lips, “You mean he…” Lance looked at her and blushed, “God, no! I haven't been with anyone, if that's what you're thinking!” She laughed and he turned a deeper shade of red, “No, he knew something was bothering me, and well some things happened, and he just put two and two together.” Bobbi cocked her head, “How did Joey figure it out before JC? I know that you and JC are close.” Lance stopped smiling, “We were close, we're not anymore.” Bobbi cursed JC under her breath when she saw the sad look on Lance's face. He was staring across the top of the city, not really looking at anything, his green eyes focused on a point in the distance. He missed JC, she could see that plain as day on his face. “You miss him, don't you?” she asked softly. Lance turned to her. What was he doing sitting here, talking about JC with his girlfriend? God, if she found out…well, things would be disastrous. But instead of changing the subject, he found himself responding to her question, “Yeah, I do.” He looked at his jeans, picking at a loose thread. “We used to talk all the time, about everything, and we don't even talk anymore. He can barely stand to be in the same room as me.” He looked at Bobbi, “And you know, he's still my best friend. I still find myself going to call him to tell him something. I can tell him things that I can't tell Joey or Chris, or Justin, I always could. And now, I don't have that.” He looked back out over the city. “There's so many things I want to talk to him about. Sure, I told Joey about me being gay first, but that doesn't mean anything. If Joey wouldn't have guessed, I wouldn't have told him. And I'm so confused about so many things. JC was always the person I would go to if I had a problem. I hate that I can't do that anymore.” Lance glanced up at Bobbi to see her studying him in the afternoon sun. He blushed and looked away, suddenly embarrassed at saying so much, at pouring out the things he was thinking. But it felt good to tell someone, he had been keeping it inside for far too long. He missed JC. And not just because he had feelings for him. He missed his friend, his confidant. “Give him time, Lance,” Bobbi said softly, meeting his eyes, “He's working out issues that I don't think he even realizes yet.” There was a faraway look in her eyes that faded as quickly as it appeared. “He'll come around, I'm sure of it.” Lance gave her a lopsided smile, “You're not half bad,” he said. Bobbi threw her head back and laughed, “God, Lance, what did you think? That I was this horrible person who had no feelings?” Lance shrugged, “Something like that.” Bobbi left a few minutes later, saying her and JC had plans for dinner, and she had to get ready. Lance walked her to the door, surprised at the fact that he had actually enjoyed their talk. Bobbi wasn't as bad as he thought, and if he had just taken the time to talk to her, maybe he would have realized that before. Although, he was still in love with her boyfriend, so not too much had changed.