Part 33

Inner Reflection | home

~Here with you it's perfect; it's all I ever wanted~

It was around twelve o'clock that Lance started to feel a little off. By one his head was pounding, and he was sick to his stomach. He sat down on the couch, heavily and placed his head in his hands. The pounding in his head seemed to be working in tandem with the churning of his stomach. Idly he wondered if it was his headache that made his stomach hurt, or vice versa. He pulled his knees towards his chest and curled up on his side.

"OK," JC said, walking out of the kitchen. "Stacey's gonna pick up the cake, and Justin said..." He trailed off when he noticed Lance's position. Fear clutched at his heart as he ran to his lover's side. "Lance, baby?" he said, kneeling down beside the couch. He brought a hand up to stroke Lance's hair. "What's wrong?" Lance's only answer was a slight movement of his head. "Are you ok?" JC asked, trying to keep his voice calm. "Do you need me to call the doctor?"

Lance shook his head a bit. "I just feel sick," he said in small, pained voice. His eyes were closed tightly.

JC bit his lip, fear and worry filling him at the sight of his lover in pain. "Is there anything I can do?" he asked, helplessly.

Lance gave another slight shake of his head. "I'm sure it will pass," he murmured.

Though JC did not like this answer he decided not to argue. They had said that he would get sick during radiation. It was just something that they would have to deal with. The hand in Lance's hair began to gently massage his head, while his other hand moved to Lance's back and began stroking it, comfortingly. It was really all JC could do.

After about a half-hour he noticed that Lance's breathing had evened out, indicating that he had fallen asleep. Sighing with relief, he stood on numb legs and began to finish preparations for Lance's party.

He didn't know how long he had been sleeping when he heard the phone ringing. Tentatively, almost fearfully, he opened his eyes. Taking a mental inventory of his body, he was surprised to find that he felt fine. The throbbing in his head had stopped and his stomach had settled. Not daring to believe it, he sat up slowly. No. He still felt fine.

He glanced at the clock and was surprised to see that he had slept almost four hours. Looking around, he saw JC's head poking out of the kitchen door.

"Yeah," JC said to whomever he was talking to on the phone. "He's awake now." He walked over to Lance and handed the phone to him. "My mother wants to talk to you," he said, smiling.

Lance took the phone. "Mrs...Karen?" he corrected before she could.

"Happy birthday, Lance," she said brightly.

"I'm so sorry we couldn't make it down, but we just couldn't get away."

"It's all right, Karen," Lance assured her. "I understand."

"Good, because I don't want you thinking...anyway, did you like your present?"

"Yeah, it was beautiful. Thank you." She had sent him a lovely, engraved silver picture frame, with a picture of him and JC. He had no idea how she had gotten the picture. It must have been from Heather.

"So have you gotten any good presents?" she asked.

"No," Lance said, mock disappointment in his voice. "No one has given me anything yet. And Josh is making me wait until tonight." JC smiled at his little boy tone. Lance stuck his tongue out at him.

"Oh, I'm sure it will be worth the wait," Karen said.

Lance's birthday party was small. It was just him and JC, Stacey and Ford, the guys, Britney and Dani, and Justin's mother. Everyone gave him a present. He got some nice clothes and things for the house. The gifts he had gotten from the guys consisted of CDs, gift certificates, and gag gifts, which had to do with either clowns, or his hair.

After opening a blond wig, Lance looked up at them and exclaimed, "Come on! I have hair!" He brought a hand up to his head, and brushed it over the new, short growth.

"Yeah," Justin agreed, "but you've never had good hair. Here's your chance."

"Oh, please," Lance said, throwing the wig at Justin, and hitting him in the face with it. "Why don't you wear it?" Everyone laughed, and JC handed Lance a large, flat, package.

"This is from me," he said, with a wide smile.

"Finally," Lance said, tearing at the paper. "Oh, wow," he said when he saw what JC had gotten him. "This is awesome," he said. It was a framed lithograph of Thing One and Thing Two from Dr. Seuss' 'The Cat in the Hat'. Lance's eyes caught on the signature in the corner. "Oh my God," he said, awe in his voice. "This must have cost a fortune."

"You like it?" JC asked.

"Like it? I love it, Josh." He kissed JC, and hugged him tightly. "Thank you so much."

JC smiled broadly, and turned to Stacey. "Yeah," he said, smugly, "the jacket was nice, but you didn't upstage me."

"I haven't given him his other present yet, Josh," Stacey said, her voice equally smug.

"Stacey," Lance interjected, "you guys don't have to give me anything else."

"It's ok, Lance," she said, taking her husband's hand. "This gift didn't cost us anything. Not yet, anyway."

"What are you talking about?" Lance asked, puzzled.

Stacey smiled, and reached for his hand, so that the three of them were linked. "You're going to be an uncle, Lance."

Lance's eyes widened. "What?"

Stacey nodded slightly, her eyes glittering.

Lance's face broke into a grin, and he gathered his sister and brother-in-law in a hug. "Oh, God, I'm so happy for you guys," he said.

Stacey kissed his cheek. "Thank you, sweetie," she said, softly. Pulling back, she wiped the tears from her cheeks and accepted the congratulations of the rest of the guests.

JC smiled at her, shaking his head. As he hugged her, he whispered in her ear, "You haven't won yet, you know."

Stacey laughed. "I know I haven't."

Lance looked around the dinner table at his group of guests. It had been such a great night. He knew it was a night that he would remember for the rest of his life. It wasn't the largest birthday party he had ever had, but it was quite enough. He still missed his parents, but this was his family. These were the people who loved him. These were the people that supported him. They had always been there for him. When he came out, when he was sick, whenever he needed support. He smiled as he looked at them, feeling such love in his heart for each of them. His eyes rested on JC. The love of his life. He knew he never would have made it through all of this if it weren't for JC. Honestly, he wouldn't have had any reason to make it through if it wasn't for JC.

As if feeling the eyes on him, JC looked up, meeting his love's gaze. Reading Lance's expression he smiled. 'I love you,' he mouthed to him, unnoticed by the rest of the guests. Lance's smile widened. 'I love you too,' he returned. For several moments they sat, just looking at each other, until the clearing of a throat tore their eyes away.

"I want to make a toast," Justin said. Everyone looked at him, expectantly. "Obviously, it's to Lance." He looked at Lance and smiled. "There's so much to say, man. First of all, happy birthday. And many more." His eyes turned serious. "These past few weeks I've learned a lot from you. About the value of life, how important it is to live for today and, most of all, how important it is to love someone." His eyes strayed to Britney at these words, and the two of them shared a smile. "And all jokes aside, man, you are one of my best friends. I don't know what I, or any of us, would do without you. I love you." Justin looked a little embarrassed at these words, but it faded when everyone else echoed his words.

"I love you, Lance," they all said.

Lance looked at his family, feeling tears well in his eyes. "I love you too," he said.

"Well," Justin concluded, raising his glass, "here's to Lance."

"To Lance," the table chorused, clinking their glasses together.

~For always and ever is always for you~

JC wasn't quite sure what to expect when they walked through the doors of the First Baptist Church Sunday morning. Would the walls collapse when they walked in? Was their 'sin' magnified and noticeable in this holy place? Would people be able to tell just by looking at them? Would they turn and point?

As he walked through the doors at Lance's side, his nerves were humming. It wasn't as if he thought Lance would come into the church and change his mind about their relationship. But he knew that Lance had been having doubts before the surgery.

The last time he had been in something resembling a church was the hospital chapel during Lance's surgery. They had both been having some doubts then. He knew his had been dispelled. He wasn't sure about Lance's.

His throat became tight when he noticed several people looking at them as they passed. Then he realized that they were mostly young girls, who pressed their hands to their mouths to keep from squealing at the sight of two of their idols. JC smiled a bit at them, causing near hysterics behind tightly clutched hands.

He and Lance sat in an aisle towards the middle of the church. Lance glanced at him and JC tried to hide his nerves. Lance smiled at him, reassuringly. It didn't really help. He just wasn't comfortable here. He was right next to Lance, and yet he felt so separate from him. Because he knew that this place, and everything that it taught and stood for, said that their relationship was wrong. It was more than a little intimidating. As he watched the pastor approach the pulpit, JC just prayed that the sermon wasn't of the fire and brimstone variety. Thankfully, the pastor began to talk about Paul's Epistle to the Romans, and JC began to zone out.

He didn't like church. This church, especially, gave him an uneasy feeling. He remembered, when he was younger, sitting and listening to the priest drone on and on about nothing. But he never, in all the years his parents forced him to attend church, remembered hearing anything said against homosexuality. And yet, in the early stages of their relationship, Lance would come back from church on Sunday mornings, lock himself in his room, and cry. JC figured that the Baptist church had more explicit and strict teachings than the Catholic Church. Either that, or Lance actually paid attention. Those times always scared him. He remembered the fear he felt when he would see Lance's tearstained face; the way his heart would start to pound, and he would brace himself for the rejection that never came. Eventually, Lance stopped going to church, and the fear went away. Now it was back. Trying to get those thoughts out of his head, JC forced himself to listen to what the pastor was saying.

"Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the Law."

JC started slightly, as he felt a warm hand slipping into his. Surprised he turned to Lance, who was watching him with a smile.

"Love is a commandment we obey," the pastor continued. "Love is a choice we make. Love is a concern we have. Love is a commitment we keep."

JC couldn't believe that Lance was making this contact, there. In the church. Suddenly, all the fear he had been feeling disappeared.

"If you love God, it is easier to love your companion."

JC squeezed the hand in his, and returned Lance's smile. Nodding slightly, Lance turned his attention back to the pastor. JC followed suit.

"God has given you your companion for friendship, so love your companion. Your best friend should be your spouse. If you love God, you will see to it that it is so.

JC closed his eyes at this, his smile widening. Silently he mused. 'God, is this some kind of sign? If so, I get it.'

"God has given you your companion for completion, so love your companion. Your companion should be the person who is with you during the happiest times, and the most difficult times, without fail."

Man, was that true. JC opened his eyes again, and turned back to Lance, the man that completed him. Lance was looking back at him, tears shining in his green eyes. All JC wanted to do was take him in his arms and never let him go. But he settled for stroking the soft skin on the back of Lance's hand with his free hand. Uncaring of who saw, Lance settled himself closer to JC's side, leaning against him. JC reveled in the feel of his love's warmth pressed against him. Suddenly, going to church didn't seem quite so bad.

JC was nervous. If this was going to be the best, the most important night of his life, everything had to go perfectly. He had gotten out of the house by enlisting Chris and Dani to take Lance out to spend the gift certificates he had gotten the night before. JC's excuse for not going was that he wanted to work on some stuff in the studio. Once Lance was out of the house he started setting up. He ordered a specially prepared meal from a fancy restaurant, because the last thing he needed on this night was Lance coming home to a burning house.

After putting the food in the oven to reheat, and setting up some flowers and the dinner table, he went to get himself ready. Chris and Dani were supposed to get Lance home at around 6 o'clock. At 5:50, JC was back downstairs, lighting candles, when he heard the front door opening.

"Josh?" Lance called from the living room. "Where are you?"

"I'm in here," JC answered. Lance walked into the dining room, and was surprised to see the elaborate setting.

"Hey," he said, kissing JC. "You look nice." He allowed JC to pull him into an embrace, and laying his head on his lover's shoulder, breathed in deeply, inhaling JC's scent. "You smell nice too. What's the occasion?"

"Nothing, really," JC said, kissing Lance's neck. "Just wanted to do something nice for you."

"What about last night?" Lance asked, sighing as JC's lips grazed the sensitive skin below his ear.

"That was nice," JC admitted. "But this is just us, so it's nicer. And I made dinner."

Lance pulled back, slightly and raised an eyebrow. "And you didn't burn it?"

JC shrugged slightly, but didn't answer. He kissed Lance again, running his hands up and down his lover's back. "Why don't you go get changed?" he said, softly. "Dinner will be ready soon."

"OK," Lance said, his lips moving against JC's.

"Go, Lance," JC said, smiling.

"OK," Lance repeated, before letting his tongue trace JC's lips.

"Lance," JC moaned, "The food is gonna burn."

Lance laughed. "OK, I'll go," he said. "Be back soon."

"I'll be waiting," JC said, his eyes lingering on his lover's retreating form.

"That was great Josh. Thank you," Lance said after they had finished eating. "How come you couldn't ever cook like that before?"

"Well, you know," JC said with a dismissive hand gesture, "cook, reheat, same thing, right?"

Lance laughed. The candlelight gave his clear green eyes and almost otherworldly quality, and JC couldn't help staring at him.

"This was really beautiful, Josh," Lance said, softly.

"Not as beautiful as you," JC said, smiling.

Lance rolled his eyes. "Josh, what is it with you and these clichés lately?"

He reached across the table and took Lance's hand in his. "I told you already, Lance. It's not a cliché if it's true." His blue eyes locked with Lance's for a minute, then suddenly flicked down to Lance's hand. "Can I see your ring?"

Lance, pulled out of the trance created by JC's eyes, was confused. "Huh?" he said, his voice surprised.

"Your ring," JC repeated. "Can I see it?"

"Uh, you're looking at it, Josh."

"No, I mean, take it off," JC elaborated.

"Why?" Lance asked, suspicion in his voice.

"I just want to see it," JC said, patiently.

"OK," Lance said, removing his hand from JC's, pulling his ring off, a little reluctantly, and handing it to JC.

JC took it, glanced at the silver ring briefly, and placed it in his pocket.

"JC, what..." Lance began to protest.

"Shh," JC said, placing a finger against Lance's lips. "I think I have something better for you." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small box. Flicking it open with his thumb, he placed it on the table in front of Lance. He removed his finger from Lance's lips and looked at the other man, expectantly.

Lance's lip fell open in surprise as he stared at the box in front of him. "Oh my God," he whispered. Movement from JC caught his attention, and he looked over to see his lover standing, closing the short distance between them, and kneeling in front of Lance's chair. He reached over and picked up the box, removing the simple platinum band, with a dusting of diamonds across the top. Holding it between his thumb and forefinger of one hand, he took Lance's left hand in his other. He gazed up at his lover adoringly, as he rolled the ring between his fingers.

"Lance, I love you," he said, his voice wavering slightly. "I have from the day I met you, and I'll never stop. You're everything to me. I would do anything, give up anything, for you. I don't care what happens, as long as we're together. I..." he blinked back tears, and he noticed that Lance's eyes were wet as well. "...I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Lance." With trembling hands, he began to push the ring onto Lance's finger. "James Lance Bass, my love, my life, will you marry me?"

Lance looked down at him, allowing the tears to slip from his eyes. He took a deep breath. "Oh God, Josh," he said, in a tremulous voice. "Yes, I'll marry you."

JC closed his eyes in relief, and pushed the ring the rest of the way onto Lance's finger. Lance slid out of his seat, onto his knees beside JC, and cupped his face in his hands. He leaned close and kissed his love, who wrapped his arms around him, and held him close.

"Did you think I could ever say no?" Lance said when they parted, his voice growing stronger.

"You never know," JC said smiling.

"No," Lance said shaking his head. "I could have never said no. I could never say no to you. I love you too much." He laid his head against JC's chest, listening to the strong heartbeat.

"Oh, God, I love you, baby," JC said, running his hands through Lance's hair. They were silent for several minutes, just enjoying the closeness. "You're gonna be my husband," JC said suddenly, awe in his voice.

"Husband," Lance repeated. JC could hear the smile in his voice. "I like the sound of that."

JC kissed him again. "Me too."


	Inner Reflection \| home back to But Faith Part 33 ~Here with you it's perfect; it's all I ever wanted~ It was around twelve o'clock that Lance started to feel a little off. By one his head was pounding, and he was sick to his stomach. He sat down on the couch, heavily and placed his head in his hands. The pounding in his head seemed to be working in tandem with the churning of his stomach. Idly he wondered if it was his headache that made his stomach hurt, or vice versa. He pulled his knees towards his chest and curled up on his side. "OK," JC said, walking out of the kitchen. "Stacey's gonna pick up the cake, and Justin said..." He trailed off when he noticed Lance's position. Fear clutched at his heart as he ran to his lover's side. "Lance, baby?" he said, kneeling down beside the couch. He brought a hand up to stroke Lance's hair. "What's wrong?" Lance's only answer was a slight movement of his head. "Are you ok?" JC asked, trying to keep his voice calm. "Do you need me to call the doctor?" Lance shook his head a bit. "I just feel sick," he said in small, pained voice. His eyes were closed tightly. JC bit his lip, fear and worry filling him at the sight of his lover in pain. "Is there anything I can do?" he asked, helplessly. Lance gave another slight shake of his head. "I'm sure it will pass," he murmured. Though JC did not like this answer he decided not to argue. They had said that he would get sick during radiation. It was just something that they would have to deal with. The hand in Lance's hair began to gently massage his head, while his other hand moved to Lance's back and began stroking it, comfortingly. It was really all JC could do. After about a half-hour he noticed that Lance's breathing had evened out, indicating that he had fallen asleep. Sighing with relief, he stood on numb legs and began to finish preparations for Lance's party. * He didn't know how long he had been sleeping when he heard the phone ringing. Tentatively, almost fearfully, he opened his eyes. Taking a mental inventory of his body, he was surprised to find that he felt fine. The throbbing in his head had stopped and his stomach had settled. Not daring to believe it, he sat up slowly. No. He still felt fine. He glanced at the clock and was surprised to see that he had slept almost four hours. Looking around, he saw JC's head poking out of the kitchen door. "Yeah," JC said to whomever he was talking to on the phone. "He's awake now." He walked over to Lance and handed the phone to him. "My mother wants to talk to you," he said, smiling. Lance took the phone. "Mrs...Karen?" he corrected before she could. "Happy birthday, Lance," she said brightly. "Thank you." "I'm so sorry we couldn't make it down, but we just couldn't get away." "It's all right, Karen," Lance assured her. "I understand." "Good, because I don't want you thinking...anyway, did you like your present?" "Yeah, it was beautiful. Thank you." She had sent him a lovely, engraved silver picture frame, with a picture of him and JC. He had no idea how she had gotten the picture. It must have been from Heather. "So have you gotten any good presents?" she asked. "No," Lance said, mock disappointment in his voice. "No one has given me anything yet. And Josh is making me wait until tonight." JC smiled at his little boy tone. Lance stuck his tongue out at him. "Oh, I'm sure it will be worth the wait," Karen said. "It better be." * Lance's birthday party was small. It was just him and JC, Stacey and Ford, the guys, Britney and Dani, and Justin's mother. Everyone gave him a present. He got some nice clothes and things for the house. The gifts he had gotten from the guys consisted of CDs, gift certificates, and gag gifts, which had to do with either clowns, or his hair. After opening a blond wig, Lance looked up at them and exclaimed, "Come on! I have hair!" He brought a hand up to his head, and brushed it over the new, short growth. "Yeah," Justin agreed, "but you've never had good hair. Here's your chance." "Oh, please," Lance said, throwing the wig at Justin, and hitting him in the face with it. "Why don't you wear it?" Everyone laughed, and JC handed Lance a large, flat, package. "This is from me," he said, with a wide smile. "Finally," Lance said, tearing at the paper. "Oh, wow," he said when he saw what JC had gotten him. "This is awesome," he said. It was a framed lithograph of Thing One and Thing Two from Dr. Seuss' 'The Cat in the Hat'. Lance's eyes caught on the signature in the corner. "Oh my God," he said, awe in his voice. "This must have cost a fortune." "You like it?" JC asked. "Like it? I love it, Josh." He kissed JC, and hugged him tightly. "Thank you so much." JC smiled broadly, and turned to Stacey. "Yeah," he said, smugly, "the jacket was nice, but you didn't upstage me." "I haven't given him his other present yet, Josh," Stacey said, her voice equally smug. "Stacey," Lance interjected, "you guys don't have to give me anything else." "It's ok, Lance," she said, taking her husband's hand. "This gift didn't cost us anything. Not yet, anyway." "What are you talking about?" Lance asked, puzzled. Stacey smiled, and reached for his hand, so that the three of them were linked. "You're going to be an uncle, Lance." Lance's eyes widened. "What?" Stacey nodded slightly, her eyes glittering. Lance's face broke into a grin, and he gathered his sister and brother-in-law in a hug. "Oh, God, I'm so happy for you guys," he said. Stacey kissed his cheek. "Thank you, sweetie," she said, softly. Pulling back, she wiped the tears from her cheeks and accepted the congratulations of the rest of the guests. JC smiled at her, shaking his head. As he hugged her, he whispered in her ear, "You haven't won yet, you know." Stacey laughed. "I know I haven't." * Lance looked around the dinner table at his group of guests. It had been such a great night. He knew it was a night that he would remember for the rest of his life. It wasn't the largest birthday party he had ever had, but it was quite enough. He still missed his parents, but this was his family. These were the people who loved him. These were the people that supported him. They had always been there for him. When he came out, when he was sick, whenever he needed support. He smiled as he looked at them, feeling such love in his heart for each of them. His eyes rested on JC. The love of his life. He knew he never would have made it through all of this if it weren't for JC. Honestly, he wouldn't have had any reason to make it through if it wasn't for JC. As if feeling the eyes on him, JC looked up, meeting his love's gaze. Reading Lance's expression he smiled. 'I love you,' he mouthed to him, unnoticed by the rest of the guests. Lance's smile widened. 'I love you too,' he returned. For several moments they sat, just looking at each other, until the clearing of a throat tore their eyes away. "I want to make a toast," Justin said. Everyone looked at him, expectantly. "Obviously, it's to Lance." He looked at Lance and smiled. "There's so much to say, man. First of all, happy birthday. And many more." His eyes turned serious. "These past few weeks I've learned a lot from you. About the value of life, how important it is to live for today and, most of all, how important it is to love someone." His eyes strayed to Britney at these words, and the two of them shared a smile. "And all jokes aside, man, you are one of my best friends. I don't know what I, or any of us, would do without you. I love you." Justin looked a little embarrassed at these words, but it faded when everyone else echoed his words. "I love you, Lance," they all said. Lance looked at his family, feeling tears well in his eyes. "I love you too," he said. "Well," Justin concluded, raising his glass, "here's to Lance." "To Lance," the table chorused, clinking their glasses together. Part 34 ~For always and ever is always for you~ JC wasn't quite sure what to expect when they walked through the doors of the First Baptist Church Sunday morning. Would the walls collapse when they walked in? Was their 'sin' magnified and noticeable in this holy place? Would people be able to tell just by looking at them? Would they turn and point? As he walked through the doors at Lance's side, his nerves were humming. It wasn't as if he thought Lance would come into the church and change his mind about their relationship. But he knew that Lance had been having doubts before the surgery. The last time he had been in something resembling a church was the hospital chapel during Lance's surgery. They had both been having some doubts then. He knew his had been dispelled. He wasn't sure about Lance's. His throat became tight when he noticed several people looking at them as they passed. Then he realized that they were mostly young girls, who pressed their hands to their mouths to keep from squealing at the sight of two of their idols. JC smiled a bit at them, causing near hysterics behind tightly clutched hands. He and Lance sat in an aisle towards the middle of the church. Lance glanced at him and JC tried to hide his nerves. Lance smiled at him, reassuringly. It didn't really help. He just wasn't comfortable here. He was right next to Lance, and yet he felt so separate from him. Because he knew that this place, and everything that it taught and stood for, said that their relationship was wrong. It was more than a little intimidating. As he watched the pastor approach the pulpit, JC just prayed that the sermon wasn't of the fire and brimstone variety. Thankfully, the pastor began to talk about Paul's Epistle to the Romans, and JC began to zone out. He didn't like church. This church, especially, gave him an uneasy feeling. He remembered, when he was younger, sitting and listening to the priest drone on and on about nothing. But he never, in all the years his parents forced him to attend church, remembered hearing anything said against homosexuality. And yet, in the early stages of their relationship, Lance would come back from church on Sunday mornings, lock himself in his room, and cry. JC figured that the Baptist church had more explicit and strict teachings than the Catholic Church. Either that, or Lance actually paid attention. Those times always scared him. He remembered the fear he felt when he would see Lance's tearstained face; the way his heart would start to pound, and he would brace himself for the rejection that never came. Eventually, Lance stopped going to church, and the fear went away. Now it was back. Trying to get those thoughts out of his head, JC forced himself to listen to what the pastor was saying. "Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the Law." JC started slightly, as he felt a warm hand slipping into his. Surprised he turned to Lance, who was watching him with a smile. "Love is a commandment we obey," the pastor continued. "Love is a choice we make. Love is a concern we have. Love is a commitment we keep." JC couldn't believe that Lance was making this contact, there. In the church. Suddenly, all the fear he had been feeling disappeared. "If you love God, it is easier to love your companion." JC squeezed the hand in his, and returned Lance's smile. Nodding slightly, Lance turned his attention back to the pastor. JC followed suit. "God has given you your companion for friendship, so love your companion. Your best friend should be your spouse. If you love God, you will see to it that it is so. JC closed his eyes at this, his smile widening. Silently he mused. 'God, is this some kind of sign? If so, I get it.' "God has given you your companion for completion, so love your companion. Your companion should be the person who is with you during the happiest times, and the most difficult times, without fail." Man, was that true. JC opened his eyes again, and turned back to Lance, the man that completed him. Lance was looking back at him, tears shining in his green eyes. All JC wanted to do was take him in his arms and never let him go. But he settled for stroking the soft skin on the back of Lance's hand with his free hand. Uncaring of who saw, Lance settled himself closer to JC's side, leaning against him. JC reveled in the feel of his love's warmth pressed against him. Suddenly, going to church didn't seem quite so bad. * JC was nervous. If this was going to be the best, the most important night of his life, everything had to go perfectly. He had gotten out of the house by enlisting Chris and Dani to take Lance out to spend the gift certificates he had gotten the night before. JC's excuse for not going was that he wanted to work on some stuff in the studio. Once Lance was out of the house he started setting up. He ordered a specially prepared meal from a fancy restaurant, because the last thing he needed on this night was Lance coming home to a burning house. After putting the food in the oven to reheat, and setting up some flowers and the dinner table, he went to get himself ready. Chris and Dani were supposed to get Lance home at around 6 o'clock. At 5:50, JC was back downstairs, lighting candles, when he heard the front door opening. "Josh?" Lance called from the living room. "Where are you?" "I'm in here," JC answered. Lance walked into the dining room, and was surprised to see the elaborate setting. "Hey," he said, kissing JC. "You look nice." He allowed JC to pull him into an embrace, and laying his head on his lover's shoulder, breathed in deeply, inhaling JC's scent. "You smell nice too. What's the occasion?" "Nothing, really," JC said, kissing Lance's neck. "Just wanted to do something nice for you." "What about last night?" Lance asked, sighing as JC's lips grazed the sensitive skin below his ear. "That was nice," JC admitted. "But this is just us, so it's nicer. And I made dinner." Lance pulled back, slightly and raised an eyebrow. "And you didn't burn it?" JC shrugged slightly, but didn't answer. He kissed Lance again, running his hands up and down his lover's back. "Why don't you go get changed?" he said, softly. "Dinner will be ready soon." "OK," Lance said, his lips moving against JC's. "Go, Lance," JC said, smiling. "OK," Lance repeated, before letting his tongue trace JC's lips. "Lance," JC moaned, "The food is gonna burn." Lance laughed. "OK, I'll go," he said. "Be back soon." "I'll be waiting," JC said, his eyes lingering on his lover's retreating form. *** "That was great Josh. Thank you," Lance said after they had finished eating. "How come you couldn't ever cook like that before?" "Well, you know," JC said with a dismissive hand gesture, "cook, reheat, same thing, right?" Lance laughed. The candlelight gave his clear green eyes and almost otherworldly quality, and JC couldn't help staring at him. "This was really beautiful, Josh," Lance said, softly. "Not as beautiful as you," JC said, smiling. Lance rolled his eyes. "Josh, what is it with you and these clichés lately?" He reached across the table and took Lance's hand in his. "I told you already, Lance. It's not a cliché if it's true." His blue eyes locked with Lance's for a minute, then suddenly flicked down to Lance's hand. "Can I see your ring?" Lance, pulled out of the trance created by JC's eyes, was confused. "Huh?" he said, his voice surprised. "Your ring," JC repeated. "Can I see it?" "Uh, you're looking at it, Josh." "No, I mean, take it off," JC elaborated. "Why?" Lance asked, suspicion in his voice. "I just want to see it," JC said, patiently. "OK," Lance said, removing his hand from JC's, pulling his ring off, a little reluctantly, and handing it to JC. JC took it, glanced at the silver ring briefly, and placed it in his pocket. "JC, what..." Lance began to protest. "Shh," JC said, placing a finger against Lance's lips. "I think I have something better for you." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small box. Flicking it open with his thumb, he placed it on the table in front of Lance. He removed his finger from Lance's lips and looked at the other man, expectantly. Lance's lip fell open in surprise as he stared at the box in front of him. "Oh my God," he whispered. Movement from JC caught his attention, and he looked over to see his lover standing, closing the short distance between them, and kneeling in front of Lance's chair. He reached over and picked up the box, removing the simple platinum band, with a dusting of diamonds across the top. Holding it between his thumb and forefinger of one hand, he took Lance's left hand in his other. He gazed up at his lover adoringly, as he rolled the ring between his fingers. "Lance, I love you," he said, his voice wavering slightly. "I have from the day I met you, and I'll never stop. You're everything to me. I would do anything, give up anything, for you. I don't care what happens, as long as we're together. I..." he blinked back tears, and he noticed that Lance's eyes were wet as well. "...I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Lance." With trembling hands, he began to push the ring onto Lance's finger. "James Lance Bass, my love, my life, will you marry me?" Lance looked down at him, allowing the tears to slip from his eyes. He took a deep breath. "Oh God, Josh," he said, in a tremulous voice. "Yes, I'll marry you." JC closed his eyes in relief, and pushed the ring the rest of the way onto Lance's finger. Lance slid out of his seat, onto his knees beside JC, and cupped his face in his hands. He leaned close and kissed his love, who wrapped his arms around him, and held him close. "Did you think I could ever say no?" Lance said when they parted, his voice growing stronger. "You never know," JC said smiling. "No," Lance said shaking his head. "I could have never said no. I could never say no to you. I love you too much." He laid his head against JC's chest, listening to the strong heartbeat. "Oh, God, I love you, baby," JC said, running his hands through Lance's hair. They were silent for several minutes, just enjoying the closeness. "You're gonna be my husband," JC said suddenly, awe in his voice. "Husband," Lance repeated. JC could hear the smile in his voice. "I like the sound of that." JC kissed him again. "Me too."