Part 29

Inner Reflection | home

~The idea of perfection holds me~

JC did not know how long they had been sleeping when he was startled out of sleep by the ringing phone. Grabbing it quickly, he muttered sleepily, "'llo?

"Stace?" JC said, surprised. "What's up?"

"Well, I just called the hospital to talk to Lance, but they told me he checked out. Is he there?"

"Well, he's asleep..."

"'m awake," Lance muttered, turning over. "Is that my sister?"

JC nodded. "Hang on a sec, Stacey," he said, handing the phone to Lance."

"Hello?" he said, a bit apprehensively.

"Lance?" Her voice was the same. Sweet and concerned. "How are you, sweetie?"

He sighed in relief, grateful that she had not turned against him. "I'm fine, Stace. Just tired still. How are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine. Everything's fine here."

"I'm glad. I...Stace, why did you leave?" he asked, unable to help himself.

He heard Stacey draw a breath. "Lance, it wasn't because of you, if that's what you think."

"It wasn't?" He sounded unconvinced. "Then what other reason is there?"

"Lance, I love you. I will love you no matter what. You have to know that."

"I needed to talk to them. I wanted to talk to them face to face about what was going on. About the way they were treating you. I wanted to try to get them to forgive you."

"Oh," Lance said softly.

"So, um, how are they?" Lance did not want to ask about the conversations that Stacey had with them.

It was a moment before she answered. "The same," she said, sighing. "I'm sorry, sweetie."

Lance nodded to himself. He really hadn't expected much more. "It's ok. Not your fault."

"Yeah, I know, but..." she trailed off, leaving the thought unfinished. "Anyway, I wanted to call and let you know that Ford and I will be down for the weekend of your birthday."

"You will?" Lance's voice was happier. "Wow, thanks."

"Keep the thanks until you get your present," she said, mischievously.

"Oh, now I can't wait.

"Well, you'll have to. I have to go, sweetie, but I'll talk to you in a few days, and I'll see you in a week and a half."

"OK, Stace. Take care of yourself. Tell Ford I said hi."

"I will. Bye sweetie."

"Bye." He disconnected the phone, a smile playing upon his lips. He was sad that nothing with his parents had been resolved, but he was happy that everything was fine between him and Stacey, and that she would be there for his birthday.

"So, what's up?" JC asked.

Lance turned to him, his smile widening. "She's coming for my birthday."

"That's great," JC enthused. "So everything is ok with you two?"

"Yeah," Lance agreed. "Everything is fine."

"Great," JC said, kissing him, quickly. He glanced at the clock. It was only four o'clock. "What do you want to do for the rest of the day?"

Lance snorted. "The first thing I want to do is shower."

"Yeah, that's cool," JC smiled. "Do you need any help?"

Lance raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, as a matter of fact," he said, smiling, "I do. I'm still kind of unsteady, you know. Don't want to fall or anything."

"No," JC agreed, slipping an arm around Lance, to 'help' him to the bathroom. "We can't have that."

Lance felt his feet going out from underneath him as he walked over to his dresser.

JC, who was behind him, grabbed his arm, keeping him upright. "Wow, you really are a little unsteady, huh?" he said, his voice concerned.

Lance rolled his eyes, straightening up. "No, Josh, I just tripped. There's a bag on the floor."

"Oh," JC said, glancing down.

"What is this, anyway?" Lance said, bending down to pick the bag up.

JC shrugged. "Dunno. My mom gave it to me. She got it from the guys. They said we'd appreciate it."

Lance groaned. "I'm almost afraid to open it," he said, taking the bag and sitting on the bed.

JC sat beside him. "I'm sure it's nothing bad."

"Yeah, right," Lance said, looking at the plain brown bag with some misgiving. There was a note taped to the top. Furrowing his brows, he opened it and read. JC watched as his face relaxed, and a smile graced his lips.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Listen to this," Lance said, taking a deep breath before he began to read.

This is just a small selection of the get well cards and notes that have been sent to you. There was way too much to give them all to you, but we though that this would let you know just how loved you are, if you didn't already know.

Justin, Joey and Chris*

When he finished reading Lance picked up the bag, dumping the contents of the bag on the bed. "Wow," he said, awe in his voice, taking in the pile of cards and letters.

JC smiled at him. "I guess you do appreciate it then, huh?"

"Yeah," Lance said, putting the note aside. Then he picked a random card and began to read. JC's heart swelled at the smile that graced Lance's lips. "This is so sweet," he said, passing the card to JC. JC read the card.

My name is Jenny, and I'm fourteen. When I was 10, I had a brain tumor. It was really scary, and I got really sick and I had to have my head shaved and have an operation to get it out. But now, I'm better. And my hair grew back. I have to go to the doctor a lot, but that's just to make sure I'm ok. I hope you're ok too, cause I love you. You're my favorite in Nsync. I know you'll be ok.

"I'm definitely going to have to write her back," Lance said, softly.

JC smiled, handing Lance a note. "Here, read this one."

The two spent the better part of an hour reading the cards and notes. Some of them were sweet, some funny, and some sad. All of them warmed Lance's heart. He looked at the pile. "I want to write them all back," he said. "And the ones that I didn't get to read. I want to let them all know how much I appreciate this."

"We'll think of a way to let them know," JC said.

"Yeah," Lance agreed, picking up another note. This one was written on plain stationary. It had one sentence printed on it, in dark, bold letters.

'Lance and JC, we support you, no matter what!'

"Huh," he said, handing the note to JC, "That's a little weird."

JC read the note. "Why?" he said. "They all support you, you know?"

"Yeah, but this one...why does it say 'Lance and JC'? I mean, why do they support you? You weren't sick?"

"Yeah, well it felt like it," JC said with a small smile

"They don't know that, Josh."

"Well, they're just supporting the band, I guess."

"Then why do they support you and me, but not Justin, Joey and Chris?"

"I have no idea," JC admitted, scratching his ear. "That's not the first time I've seen a message like that."

"You don't think..."

"I have no idea," Lance said, looking at the paper again, trying to decipher it's meaning.

"I'm sure it's no big deal," JC assured him.

"It could be, Josh. What if they do know?"

"Well, they said they support us, so..."

"Yeah, but what if people do know? What if people start asking questions?"

"I don't know," JC said, taking Lance's hand. "I do know this much, though. If someone asks me, I won't deny it."

"You won't?" Lance said, surprise evident in his voice.

"No. If someone asks me if you and I are together, I'm going to tell them the truth. I will never deny my relationship with you. Not after what we went through."

Lance was amazed and pleased. JC had been terrified that their secret would come out and ruin their careers. Now, he was willing to admit their relationship to anyone who asked.

"I'll never deny us either, JC," he said, hugging his lover tightly. JC returned the embrace, kissing Lance's neck.

"And hopefully," JC started, "if someone does ask me, the fans will accept the truth."

"I think they will, JC," Lance said, looking back at the pile of notes on the bed. "I think they'll support us, no matter what."

"I think you're right, you know?" JC said.

"Everything is going to be perfect, I'm sure of it."

Lance nodded in agreement. Things were close to being perfect now.


	Inner Reflection \| home back to But Faith Part 29 ~The idea of perfection holds me~ JC did not know how long they had been sleeping when he was startled out of sleep by the ringing phone. Grabbing it quickly, he muttered sleepily, "'llo? "JC? It's Stacey." "Stace?" JC said, surprised. "What's up?" "Well, I just called the hospital to talk to Lance, but they told me he checked out. Is he there?" "Well, he's asleep..." "'m awake," Lance muttered, turning over. "Is that my sister?" JC nodded. "Hang on a sec, Stacey," he said, handing the phone to Lance." "Hello?" he said, a bit apprehensively. "Lance?" Her voice was the same. Sweet and concerned. "How are you, sweetie?" He sighed in relief, grateful that she had not turned against him. "I'm fine, Stace. Just tired still. How are you?" "Oh, I'm fine. Everything's fine here." "I'm glad. I...Stace, why did you leave?" he asked, unable to help himself. He heard Stacey draw a breath. "Lance, it wasn't because of you, if that's what you think." "It wasn't?" He sounded unconvinced. "Then what other reason is there?" "Lance, I love you. I will love you no matter what. You have to know that." "I thought I did." "I needed to talk to them. I wanted to talk to them face to face about what was going on. About the way they were treating you. I wanted to try to get them to forgive you." "Oh," Lance said softly. "Yeah." "So, um, how are they?" Lance did not want to ask about the conversations that Stacey had with them. It was a moment before she answered. "The same," she said, sighing. "I'm sorry, sweetie." Lance nodded to himself. He really hadn't expected much more. "It's ok. Not your fault." "Yeah, I know, but..." she trailed off, leaving the thought unfinished. "Anyway, I wanted to call and let you know that Ford and I will be down for the weekend of your birthday." "You will?" Lance's voice was happier. "Wow, thanks." "Keep the thanks until you get your present," she said, mischievously. "Oh, now I can't wait. "Well, you'll have to. I have to go, sweetie, but I'll talk to you in a few days, and I'll see you in a week and a half." "OK, Stace. Take care of yourself. Tell Ford I said hi." "I will. Bye sweetie." "Bye." He disconnected the phone, a smile playing upon his lips. He was sad that nothing with his parents had been resolved, but he was happy that everything was fine between him and Stacey, and that she would be there for his birthday. "So, what's up?" JC asked. Lance turned to him, his smile widening. "She's coming for my birthday." "That's great," JC enthused. "So everything is ok with you two?" "Yeah," Lance agreed. "Everything is fine." "Great," JC said, kissing him, quickly. He glanced at the clock. It was only four o'clock. "What do you want to do for the rest of the day?" Lance snorted. "The first thing I want to do is shower." "Yeah, that's cool," JC smiled. "Do you need any help?" Lance raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, as a matter of fact," he said, smiling, "I do. I'm still kind of unsteady, you know. Don't want to fall or anything." "No," JC agreed, slipping an arm around Lance, to 'help' him to the bathroom. "We can't have that." *** Lance felt his feet going out from underneath him as he walked over to his dresser. JC, who was behind him, grabbed his arm, keeping him upright. "Wow, you really are a little unsteady, huh?" he said, his voice concerned. Lance rolled his eyes, straightening up. "No, Josh, I just tripped. There's a bag on the floor." "Oh," JC said, glancing down. "What is this, anyway?" Lance said, bending down to pick the bag up. JC shrugged. "Dunno. My mom gave it to me. She got it from the guys. They said we'd appreciate it." Lance groaned. "I'm almost afraid to open it," he said, taking the bag and sitting on the bed. JC sat beside him. "I'm sure it's nothing bad." "Yeah, right," Lance said, looking at the plain brown bag with some misgiving. There was a note taped to the top. Furrowing his brows, he opened it and read. JC watched as his face relaxed, and a smile graced his lips. "What is it?" he asked. "Listen to this," Lance said, taking a deep breath before he began to read. Dear Lance, This is just a small selection of the get well cards and notes that have been sent to you. There was way too much to give them all to you, but we though that this would let you know just how loved you are, if you didn't already know. Love, Justin, Joey and Chris When he finished reading Lance picked up the bag, dumping the contents of the bag on the bed. "Wow," he said, awe in his voice, taking in the pile of cards and letters. JC smiled at him. "I guess you do appreciate it then, huh?" "Yeah," Lance said, putting the note aside. Then he picked a random card and began to read. JC's heart swelled at the smile that graced Lance's lips. "This is so sweet," he said, passing the card to JC. JC read the card. *Dear Lance, My name is Jenny, and I'm fourteen. When I was 10, I had a brain tumor. It was really scary, and I got really sick and I had to have my head shaved and have an operation to get it out. But now, I'm better. And my hair grew back. I have to go to the doctor a lot, but that's just to make sure I'm ok. I hope you're ok too, cause I love you. You're my favorite in Nsync. I know you'll be ok. Love, Jenny "I'm definitely going to have to write her back," Lance said, softly. JC smiled, handing Lance a note. "Here, read this one." The two spent the better part of an hour reading the cards and notes. Some of them were sweet, some funny, and some sad. All of them warmed Lance's heart. He looked at the pile. "I want to write them all back," he said. "And the ones that I didn't get to read. I want to let them all know how much I appreciate this." "We'll think of a way to let them know," JC said. "Yeah," Lance agreed, picking up another note. This one was written on plain stationary. It had one sentence printed on it, in dark, bold letters. 'Lance and JC, we support you, no matter what!' "Huh," he said, handing the note to JC, "That's a little weird." JC read the note. "Why?" he said. "They all support you, you know?" "Yeah, but this one...why does it say 'Lance and JC'? I mean, why do they support you? You weren't sick?" "Yeah, well it felt like it," JC said with a small smile "They don't know that, Josh." "Well, they're just supporting the band, I guess." "Then why do they support you and me, but not Justin, Joey and Chris?" "I have no idea," JC admitted, scratching his ear. "That's not the first time I've seen a message like that." "You don't think..." "That they know?" "Yeah." "How could they?" "I have no idea," Lance said, looking at the paper again, trying to decipher it's meaning. "I'm sure it's no big deal," JC assured him. "It could be, Josh. What if they do know?" "Well, they said they support us, so..." "Yeah, but what if people do know? What if people start asking questions?" "I don't know," JC said, taking Lance's hand. "I do know this much, though. If someone asks me, I won't deny it." "You won't?" Lance said, surprise evident in his voice. "No. If someone asks me if you and I are together, I'm going to tell them the truth. I will never deny my relationship with you. Not after what we went through." Lance was amazed and pleased. JC had been terrified that their secret would come out and ruin their careers. Now, he was willing to admit their relationship to anyone who asked. "I'll never deny us either, JC," he said, hugging his lover tightly. JC returned the embrace, kissing Lance's neck. "And hopefully," JC started, "if someone does ask me, the fans will accept the truth." "I think they will, JC," Lance said, looking back at the pile of notes on the bed. "I think they'll support us, no matter what." "I think you're right, you know?" JC said. "Yeah." "Everything is going to be perfect, I'm sure of it." Lance nodded in agreement. Things were close to being perfect now.