Part 14

Inner Reflection | home

back to But Faith

Part 14

~A smile to hide the fear away~

11:30 AM

JC was still standing, looking at the elevator, when the doors opened again.

"Hey Josh!" Chris said, stepping out of the elevator. "Are you ok?"

JC shook his head a bit. "Yeah, fine."

"Did they take him down?" Chris's girlfriend, Dani asked.

"Yeah. Thank you guys for giving us some time alone."

"It's cool man," Joey said, as they walked back towards the makeshift waiting room. "Look, we bought him a card." Joey held up a get well card. Obviously made for a child, it featured a large clown holding a band-aid; with a bubble saying 'Hope your boo-boo's better soon!'

JC cringed. "Lance doesn't like clowns," he said.

"We know," Chris said, with a wicked grin.

Dani shook her head. "I tried to talk them out of it, but you know how they are."

"Come on!" Joey said, "it'll be funny. I'm sure Lance will appreciate it."

"Yeah, you're probably right," JC smiled slightly. They all found seats around the room, settling in for a long wait.

***

12:23 PM

"Josh!" Lance's sister Stacey stepped into the waiting room followed by her husband Ford, and Justin and his mother.

"Stacey," he said, rising to greet her.

She hugged him close. "I'm so sorry! I wish we could have gotten an earlier flight! I wanted to see him before he went in."

"It's ok, Stace. You're here now, that's all that matters."

She stepped away, looking at him critically. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm...holding up. Ford," he said, extending a hand to Lance's brother-in-law.

"JC," he responded, shaking the hand. "Good to see you again."

"You too." He turned to Justin and Lynn. "Thank you guys for picking them up."

Lynn came to JC's side, hugging him. "It's all right honey. I just wish we could have seen Lance before the surgery."

"Hey Justin," Joey called, "come and look at what we got for Lance!"

Justin quickly hugged JC, before going to join Joey and Chris.

***

1:09 PM

"What's in the bag, Stace?" JC asked, indicating a plastic bag at Stacey's feet. "Didn't you drop everything off at our place?"

"Oh, yeah, it's just...it's stupid." She nudged the bag with her foot.

"What is it?"

"It's something I brought for Lance." She reached into the bag and pulled out a teddy bear.

"Cool!" Justin exclaimed. "Teddy Ruxpin!" They all looked at him strangely. "What?" He looked around, offended. "I was a little kid, you know? Wasn't I allowed to have toys?"

"Where'd you get that from?" JC asked.

"It's mine. From when we were little." She smiled wistfully. "Lance loved it, but I would never let him play with it. I can't remember why. I just never wanted anyone else to play with it. But, whenever Lance was sick, I would let him sleep with it. He said it made him feel better. Those were the only times I would ever let him touch it. I wanted to give it to him now." She looked embarrassed. "I told you it was silly."

"No, it's not silly," Josh said, taking the bear, studying it. "I think it's sweet."

Stacey smiled. "Hopefully it will work as well now as it did when we were little."

***

2:38 PM

"Who do you think is hotter?" Joey asked, lying sideways across the bed. "Brian Littrell or Nick Carter?"

"Joey," Justin grimaced, "please, lets not go there, ok?"

"All right then, who would win in a fight?"

"Oh, God, Joey, please stop," Chris said, shaking his head.

They all looked up when he heard a tentative knock on the door. A blonde

head poked inside. "Hi everybody."

"Britney?" JC smiled in disbelief.

"Brit?" Justin echoed, standing and walking towards her. "What are you doin' here?"

"I thought you might need me," she said, hugging him. "I wanted to be here for you. And for you, Josh."

JC recovered from his surprise, and rose to greet her. "I'm glad you're here, Britney," he said, hugging her tightly.

"Brit, are you sure this is a good idea?" Justin asked. "What about the press?"

She shrugged. "I'm coming to see a friend of mine in the hospital. Besides," she looked at JC sadly, "maybe if I give them something to write about it will keep their attention off the fact that Lance's parents aren't here."

JC pulled her back into an embrace. "Thank you, Brit. Thank you so much."

***

3:26 PM

"I like your shoes," Dani said to Britney. "Very cute."

"Thanks. They're really comfortable, too."

"OK, that's it," Joey said. "When the shoe conversation starts, I know it's time to leave." He stood up and stretched. I'm going for coffee. Anybody else comin'?" Chris, Ford, Stacey and Lynn all agreed, and they headed for the door. Joey stopped in front of JC, who was sitting silently, staring at nothing. "JC, I'll bring you back a cup."

JC nodded his thanks, before turning his thoughts inward again. God, it was taking so long. They had said that the surgery may take over five hours, but he had only thought about the number in an abstract way. He really hadn't been prepared to wait that long. Sighing, he shifted positions, throwing his legs over the side of the chair. He felt something poking him in the leg, and reached in his pocket. Lance's cross. He stared at it, rubbing his thumb against the satiny finish. He heard Lance's words running in his head. 'Maybe it is wrong, and God is punishing us.' No! Stop thinking about that. You told him it wasn't true, now don't dwell on it. '...God hates me, or that he doesn't care either way.' Stop it! Stop, stop. Don't think like that. It isn't helping. JC stood abruptly.

"Josh," Britney asked, looking up. "Where are you going?"

"Chapel," JC answered simply.


	Inner Reflection \| home back to But Faith Part 14 ~A smile to hide the fear away~ 11:30 AM JC was still standing, looking at the elevator, when the doors opened again. "Hey Josh!" Chris said, stepping out of the elevator. "Are you ok?" JC shook his head a bit. "Yeah, fine." "Did they take him down?" Chris's girlfriend, Dani asked. "Yeah. Thank you guys for giving us some time alone." "It's cool man," Joey said, as they walked back towards the makeshift waiting room. "Look, we bought him a card." Joey held up a get well card. Obviously made for a child, it featured a large clown holding a band-aid; with a bubble saying 'Hope your boo-boo's better soon!' JC cringed. "Lance doesn't like clowns," he said. "We know," Chris said, with a wicked grin. Dani shook her head. "I tried to talk them out of it, but you know how they are." "Come on!" Joey said, "it'll be funny. I'm sure Lance will appreciate it." "Yeah, you're probably right," JC smiled slightly. They all found seats around the room, settling in for a long wait. * 12:23 PM "Josh!" Lance's sister Stacey stepped into the waiting room followed by her husband Ford, and Justin and his mother. "Stacey," he said, rising to greet her. She hugged him close. "I'm so sorry! I wish we could have gotten an earlier flight! I wanted to see him before he went in." "It's ok, Stace. You're here now, that's all that matters." She stepped away, looking at him critically. "How are you holding up?" "I'm...holding up. Ford," he said, extending a hand to Lance's brother-in-law. "JC," he responded, shaking the hand. "Good to see you again." "You too." He turned to Justin and Lynn. "Thank you guys for picking them up." Lynn came to JC's side, hugging him. "It's all right honey. I just wish we could have seen Lance before the surgery." "Hey Justin," Joey called, "come and look at what we got for Lance!" Justin quickly hugged JC, before going to join Joey and Chris. * 1:09 PM "What's in the bag, Stace?" JC asked, indicating a plastic bag at Stacey's feet. "Didn't you drop everything off at our place?" "Oh, yeah, it's just...it's stupid." She nudged the bag with her foot. "What is it?" "It's something I brought for Lance." She reached into the bag and pulled out a teddy bear. "Cool!" Justin exclaimed. "Teddy Ruxpin!" They all looked at him strangely. "What?" He looked around, offended. "I was a little kid, you know? Wasn't I allowed to have toys?" "Where'd you get that from?" JC asked. "It's mine. From when we were little." She smiled wistfully. "Lance loved it, but I would never let him play with it. I can't remember why. I just never wanted anyone else to play with it. But, whenever Lance was sick, I would let him sleep with it. He said it made him feel better. Those were the only times I would ever let him touch it. I wanted to give it to him now." She looked embarrassed. "I told you it was silly." "No, it's not silly," Josh said, taking the bear, studying it. "I think it's sweet." Stacey smiled. "Hopefully it will work as well now as it did when we were little." * 2:38 PM "Who do you think is hotter?" Joey asked, lying sideways across the bed. "Brian Littrell or Nick Carter?" "Joey," Justin grimaced, "please, lets not go there, ok?" "All right then, who would win in a fight?" "Oh, God, Joey, please stop," Chris said, shaking his head. They all looked up when he heard a tentative knock on the door. A blonde head poked inside. "Hi everybody." "Britney?" JC smiled in disbelief. "Brit?" Justin echoed, standing and walking towards her. "What are you doin' here?" "I thought you might need me," she said, hugging him. "I wanted to be here for you. And for you, Josh." JC recovered from his surprise, and rose to greet her. "I'm glad you're here, Britney," he said, hugging her tightly. "Brit, are you sure this is a good idea?" Justin asked. "What about the press?" She shrugged. "I'm coming to see a friend of mine in the hospital. Besides," she looked at JC sadly, "maybe if I give them something to write about it will keep their attention off the fact that Lance's parents aren't here." JC pulled her back into an embrace. "Thank you, Brit. Thank you so much." * 3:26 PM "I like your shoes," Dani said to Britney. "Very cute." "Thanks. They're really comfortable, too." "OK, that's it," Joey said. "When the shoe conversation starts, I know it's time to leave." He stood up and stretched. I'm going for coffee. Anybody else comin'?" Chris, Ford, Stacey and Lynn all agreed, and they headed for the door. Joey stopped in front of JC, who was sitting silently, staring at nothing. "JC, I'll bring you back a cup." JC nodded his thanks, before turning his thoughts inward again. God, it was taking so long. They had said that the surgery may take over five hours, but he had only thought about the number in an abstract way. He really hadn't been prepared to wait that long. Sighing, he shifted positions, throwing his legs over the side of the chair. He felt something poking him in the leg, and reached in his pocket. Lance's cross. He stared at it, rubbing his thumb against the satiny finish. He heard Lance's words running in his head. 'Maybe it is wrong, and God is punishing us.' No! Stop thinking about that. You told him it wasn't true, now don't dwell on it. '...God hates me, or that he doesn't care either way.' Stop it! Stop, stop. Don't think like that. It isn't helping. JC stood abruptly. "Josh," Britney asked, looking up. "Where are you going?" "Chapel," JC answered simply.