Chapter 72

Inner Reflection | home

back to Sent From Above

Chapter 72

"Why this, though? Why...why would he get put in the group if he would've known about this?" Lance pulled at his hair.

"You just killed that sentence," Nikolas pointed out.

"Thank you teacher," Lance replied with a slight roll of his eyes. "But seriously, Nikolas, why did-- He was with LOU the whole time? I can't believe--"

"James, you have to understand this," Nikolas sighed. "If we hadn't sent you down there, Jason would have been replaced by Ken rather than you. So this was going to happen anyway."

"I thought you said Benny would've been my replacement?"

"You were our first choice. If it didn't work with you, we were going to have Benjamin do it instead. But Ken is the human that would have been in the band if we hadn't intervened."

"But did he have to be BAD? I mean, I had no idea it was bad--I'm clueless when it comes to-- You KNOW I trust people easily, no one lied back then, but...he...even the NAMES are the same, Nikolas! Benny and Kenny, Ken and Ben. It...this is screwed up!"

"Calm down a little, James, it will all work out like it's supposed to." He turned around, back facing Lance.

Lance sat down heavily. "I'm sorry, I do that too much. You're right, I suppose. It will...I hope..."

Nikolas turned back around when Lance's voice trailed off. "James?"

*****

"JC, what are you talking about?" Justin asked quietly. "What do you mean by love him with all your heart? Do you mean...you're gay?"

JC's heart sank. He'd forgotten that his younger friend's opinion would probably change...or he'd be a little less accepting now then he was when he came out last time. "Yeah," he said, looking out the window, "Yeah, I am. And I'm sorry if this changes anything, but..." he shook his head. "You have to understand, I...Lance..." he sighed and began again. "I love Lance," he said. "Not just from a dream, not just from what Joey has said about him, but because I just DO. I know he was here, I know...we were in love," he said simply. "And that's all there is to it. And I still love him, because he was HERE. He was here with us and we were all friends...he was the business man, the one that knew all the schedules...and when we...when he finally admitted he loved me..." JC sighed again. "He had to leave and...we all, I guess had our memories changed. I KNOW this sounds crazy, I know it's unbelievable, but you HAVE to believe me. This really happened. He's still here, too, he's watching us, making sure we stay out of trouble...and he--" JC cut himself off and buried his head in his hands. "I can't IMAGINE how hard it was to see us, and know that we don't remember him. Think of it, Justin, how would you feel if you remembered me, or Joey, or Chris, or all of us, but none of us knew who you were? How would you feel?"

"Bad," Justin whispered, toying with the hem of his shirt. There was something...something small...

JC racked his brain, trying to think of something Justin might remember. "There was the time you bleached your hair and Lance stood up to Lou about it--"

"Lance would have stood up to Lou about something dealing with our image?" Justin asked skeptically with a raised eyebrow. But wait...something about seeing...someone smirking at Lou in a conference room? You didn't smirk at Lou in a conference room -- ANYWHERE -- unless your name was Ken.

"Yeah, Lou couldn't stand him after a while," JC said with a short laugh.

"They argued all the time..." he paused. "And then sometimes Joey would--" he stopped. "Joey!"

Joey looked up from where he was chewing when heard someone call his name. "Joey! Is Lance here?" JC asked, sounding a little breathless. He looked at his friend oddly. "I don't know," he said. "I only know if he's here when he wants me to know." He shrugged and chewed on his apple.

"Ugh. Well I need to...Never mind. Just umm..." JC trailed off, realizing just how odd his request sounded. He sighed and, running his fingers through his hair, finished anyway. "Let him know, all right?" he asked, his voice suddenly weary. Joey looked at him, taking in the tired voice and the rather haggard statement. That combined with the fact that his friend's hair looked like he'd had a mishap with an electrical outlet made Joey worried.

"You all right, man?" he asked.

"Hm? Oh, I'm fine." He walked back upstairs, slower than he had come down. Joey watched him for a second, then shook his head and opened the fridge. When he turned around again, he jumped a foot in the air. What surprised him was seeing an almost disoriented looking Lance, who spread his arms to the side and looked at the floor, then around the room a little. He saw Joey and looked at him with a quizzical statement. "Hey, did you like...call me, or something?"

Justin watched JC pace back and forth nervously. "Um, JC? Are you all right?" Justin was really getting worried. Sure, some of the stuff JC was saying had started to make sense, but..."Jace, if you're worried about me getting mad cause you're gay, I'm not...it's just a surprise, that's all."

"No, I..." he sighed. "I just HAVE to convince you that...I have to think of something you'll remember that'll..." he slapped his forehead. "I got it! Do you remember...there was this time when Joey...well, I dunno what happened to Joey, but like, he blackmailed Lance, and then Lou found out and started blackmailing him too, and then--"

"Blackmailing him with what?" Justin asked, scratching his head. He was trying to understand, but it was so hard to. But he could see little parts... JC looked at him blankly. "Um, maybe it was that Joey knew he was an angel? I don't know. But anyway, um, Lou had Joey under contract that he could ask for the stuff Joey had on Lance whenever he felt like making Lance miserable, and then...well...I don't know HOW you did it, but you...you stood up to Lou, Justin, you...got him to tear up the contract, and we were all set--"

"I did that?" Justin asked. His brow furrowed, searching every corner of his memory. "Are you sure?"

JC sighed. He knew Justin was trying, and he appreciated that, he did. But it was so frustrating! He stopped and a grin crossed his face when he saw a flicker of...something...cross his friend's face, but then it disappeared. He frowned. "Yeah, I'm sure," he said. "It was awesome...Lance was so happy...God, I miss him--" JC blinked back tears.

Justin frowned. "You really love him, don't you?" he said softly. "This isn't something you just made up."

JC sat down heavily. "No, I didn't," he said with a sigh. "I didn't make it up. I love him so much...I don't think you really understand the kind of love I have for him...I mean, I know I didn't always SHOW it, but I know he knew...and I already feel bad enough that I didn't show it more, or remember him earlier...though from what he told me it didn't really...I didn't really have much choice in the matter, so--"

"Wait, hold up a sec," Justin said. "He told you? When?"

Well, at least he isn't calling you a liar, Chasez, JC thought to himself. "In my dream," he said sheepishly. "At least, I'm pretty sure it was a dream...but I KNOW I'm not dreaming the rest of it up!"

Justin could see the love JC had in his eyes for this...person? Was it really a person? Justin had heard of...disorders people had where they thought they were doing things with people...but it had all been their imagination, and others around them didn't have a clue what was going on. But they were around each other so much...if JC was insane, they'd know, wouldn't they? "JC?" Justin spoke up quietly.

JC looked at him, startled out of his thoughts. "What?"

Justin shook his head. "This is crazy," he said. JC silently urged him to continue. "Was there EVER a guy outside a club with a--"

"Hey guys?"

JC's eyes widened. "Ugh, WHAT, Joey?"

'I'm sorry...did I interrupt someth--ING?" Joey shuddered at his last words. JC hid a grin while Justin just looked confused. "Joe? You okay?"

"Huh? Oh, I just got a chill." JC snorted and Joey glared at him. "I'm fine."

"Hey, where's Chris?" Justin asked curiously.

"Um...I think he's out with his dog or something," Joey said with a shrug. "I don't know, I ain't his keeper."

"So what were you saying, Just?" JC asked, suddenly remembering.

"Hmm? Oh, I was just asking if--" Justin stopped. "Never mind, it was crazy anyway," he said, shaking his head. "It makes no sense. A guy with a gun? That hasn't happened--"

"Outside the club?" JC asked, eyes wide. "A club around when our album was released? Justin?"

"You know what I'm talking about?" Justin asked incredulously. "How...what...I don't...how? Did that--"

"That happened, Justin," JC said, eyes lighting up with his friend's memory. "It happened! And you remember it, cause I didn't tell you!"

Justin's brow was furrowed. "And he tried to shoot...YOU, and then...someone jumped in the way...I yelled; and it was...it...was it Lance?" Joey suddenly jumped into the room, almost stumbling forward, and the room got a little brighter just as suddenly. "And was there...was...there was a truck, too, right?" he asked, eyes widening as things came rushing back. "A truck that almost hit Chris...and the meeting you guys had to leave...and then the hospital Lance had to go in cause he was sick, and...you tried to beat up Lou, and..."

JC looked around the room, then at a spot directly behind Joey, and a wide grin spread over his face as he leapt forward and hugged Justin. "You remember, thank God, you remember him..."

Justin hugged him back. "I just hope Lance doesn't get mad I forgot him," he said. Things were still fuzzy, but he definitely wasn't imagining any of this. "Hey, Joe, is Lance here right now?" Joey didn't say a word, but pointed to the mirror instead. There, written with what looked like lipstick he'd managed to get from SOMEONE, was the simple word:

"Always."


	Inner Reflection \| home back to Sent From Above Chapter 72 "Why this, though? Why...why would he get put in the group if he would've known about this?" Lance pulled at his hair. "You just killed that sentence," Nikolas pointed out. "Thank you teacher," Lance replied with a slight roll of his eyes. "But seriously, Nikolas, why did-- He was with LOU the whole time? I can't believe--" "James, you have to understand this," Nikolas sighed. "If we hadn't sent you down there, Jason would have been replaced by Ken rather than you. So this was going to happen anyway." "I thought you said Benny would've been my replacement?" "You were our first choice. If it didn't work with you, we were going to have Benjamin do it instead. But Ken is the human that would have been in the band if we hadn't intervened." "But did he have to be BAD? I mean, I had no idea it was bad--I'm clueless when it comes to-- You KNOW I trust people easily, no one lied back then, but...he...even the NAMES are the same, Nikolas! Benny and Kenny, Ken and Ben. It...this is screwed up!" "Calm down a little, James, it will all work out like it's supposed to." He turned around, back facing Lance. Lance sat down heavily. "I'm sorry, I do that too much. You're right, I suppose. It will...I hope..." Nikolas turned back around when Lance's voice trailed off. "James?" ***** "JC, what are you talking about?" Justin asked quietly. "What do you mean by love him with all your heart? Do you mean...you're gay?" JC's heart sank. He'd forgotten that his younger friend's opinion would probably change...or he'd be a little less accepting now then he was when he came out last time. "Yeah," he said, looking out the window, "Yeah, I am. And I'm sorry if this changes anything, but..." he shook his head. "You have to understand, I...Lance..." he sighed and began again. "I love Lance," he said. "Not just from a dream, not just from what Joey has said about him, but because I just DO. I know he was here, I know...we were in love," he said simply. "And that's all there is to it. And I still love him, because he was HERE. He was here with us and we were all friends...he was the business man, the one that knew all the schedules...and when we...when he finally admitted he loved me..." JC sighed again. "He had to leave and...we all, I guess had our memories changed. I KNOW this sounds crazy, I know it's unbelievable, but you HAVE to believe me. This really happened. He's still here, too, he's watching us, making sure we stay out of trouble...and he--" JC cut himself off and buried his head in his hands. "I can't IMAGINE how hard it was to see us, and know that we don't remember him. Think of it, Justin, how would you feel if you remembered me, or Joey, or Chris, or all of us, but none of us knew who you were? How would you feel?" "Bad," Justin whispered, toying with the hem of his shirt. There was something...something small... JC racked his brain, trying to think of something Justin might remember. "There was the time you bleached your hair and Lance stood up to Lou about it--" "Lance would have stood up to Lou about something dealing with our image?" Justin asked skeptically with a raised eyebrow. But wait...something about seeing...someone smirking at Lou in a conference room? You didn't smirk at Lou in a conference room -- ANYWHERE -- unless your name was Ken. "Yeah, Lou couldn't stand him after a while," JC said with a short laugh. "They argued all the time..." he paused. "And then sometimes Joey would--" he stopped. "Joey!" * Joey looked up from where he was chewing when heard someone call his name. "Joey! Is Lance here?" JC asked, sounding a little breathless. He looked at his friend oddly. "I don't know," he said. "I only know if he's here when he wants me to know." He shrugged and chewed on his apple. "Ugh. Well I need to...Never mind. Just umm..." JC trailed off, realizing just how odd his request sounded. He sighed and, running his fingers through his hair, finished anyway. "Let him know, all right?" he asked, his voice suddenly weary. Joey looked at him, taking in the tired voice and the rather haggard statement. That combined with the fact that his friend's hair looked like he'd had a mishap with an electrical outlet made Joey worried. "You all right, man?" he asked. "Hm? Oh, I'm fine." He walked back upstairs, slower than he had come down. Joey watched him for a second, then shook his head and opened the fridge. When he turned around again, he jumped a foot in the air. What surprised him was seeing an almost disoriented looking Lance, who spread his arms to the side and looked at the floor, then around the room a little. He saw Joey and looked at him with a quizzical statement. "Hey, did you like...call me, or something?" * Justin watched JC pace back and forth nervously. "Um, JC? Are you all right?" Justin was really getting worried. Sure, some of the stuff JC was saying had started to make sense, but..."Jace, if you're worried about me getting mad cause you're gay, I'm not...it's just a surprise, that's all." "No, I..." he sighed. "I just HAVE to convince you that...I have to think of something you'll remember that'll..." he slapped his forehead. "I got it! Do you remember...there was this time when Joey...well, I dunno what happened to Joey, but like, he blackmailed Lance, and then Lou found out and started blackmailing him too, and then--" "Blackmailing him with what?" Justin asked, scratching his head. He was trying to understand, but it was so hard to. But he could see little parts... JC looked at him blankly. "Um, maybe it was that Joey knew he was an angel? I don't know. But anyway, um, Lou had Joey under contract that he could ask for the stuff Joey had on Lance whenever he felt like making Lance miserable, and then...well...I don't know HOW you did it, but you...you stood up to Lou, Justin, you...got him to tear up the contract, and we were all set--" "I did that?" Justin asked. His brow furrowed, searching every corner of his memory. "Are you sure?" JC sighed. He knew Justin was trying, and he appreciated that, he did. But it was so frustrating! He stopped and a grin crossed his face when he saw a flicker of...something...cross his friend's face, but then it disappeared. He frowned. "Yeah, I'm sure," he said. "It was awesome...Lance was so happy...God, I miss him--" JC blinked back tears. Justin frowned. "You really love him, don't you?" he said softly. "This isn't something you just made up." JC sat down heavily. "No, I didn't," he said with a sigh. "I didn't make it up. I love him so much...I don't think you really understand the kind of love I have for him...I mean, I know I didn't always SHOW it, but I know he knew...and I already feel bad enough that I didn't show it more, or remember him earlier...though from what he told me it didn't really...I didn't really have much choice in the matter, so--" "Wait, hold up a sec," Justin said. "He told you? When?" Well, at least he isn't calling you a liar, Chasez, JC thought to himself. "In my dream," he said sheepishly. "At least, I'm pretty sure it was a dream...but I KNOW I'm not dreaming the rest of it up!" Justin could see the love JC had in his eyes for this...person? Was it really a person? Justin had heard of...disorders people had where they thought they were doing things with people...but it had all been their imagination, and others around them didn't have a clue what was going on. But they were around each other so much...if JC was insane, they'd know, wouldn't they? "JC?" Justin spoke up quietly. JC looked at him, startled out of his thoughts. "What?" Justin shook his head. "This is crazy," he said. JC silently urged him to continue. "Was there EVER a guy outside a club with a--" "Hey guys?" JC's eyes widened. "Ugh, WHAT, Joey?" 'I'm sorry...did I interrupt someth--ING?" Joey shuddered at his last words. JC hid a grin while Justin just looked confused. "Joe? You okay?" "Huh? Oh, I just got a chill." JC snorted and Joey glared at him. "I'm fine." "Hey, where's Chris?" Justin asked curiously. "Um...I think he's out with his dog or something," Joey said with a shrug. "I don't know, I ain't his keeper." "So what were you saying, Just?" JC asked, suddenly remembering. "Hmm? Oh, I was just asking if--" Justin stopped. "Never mind, it was crazy anyway," he said, shaking his head. "It makes no sense. A guy with a gun? That hasn't happened--" "Outside the club?" JC asked, eyes wide. "A club around when our album was released? Justin?" "You know what I'm talking about?" Justin asked incredulously. "How...what...I don't...how? Did that--" "That happened, Justin," JC said, eyes lighting up with his friend's memory. "It happened! And you remember it, cause I didn't tell you!" Justin's brow was furrowed. "And he tried to shoot...YOU, and then...someone jumped in the way...I yelled; and it was...it...was it Lance?" Joey suddenly jumped into the room, almost stumbling forward, and the room got a little brighter just as suddenly. "And was there...was...there was a truck, too, right?" he asked, eyes widening as things came rushing back. "A truck that almost hit Chris...and the meeting you guys had to leave...and then the hospital Lance had to go in cause he was sick, and...you tried to beat up Lou, and..." JC looked around the room, then at a spot directly behind Joey, and a wide grin spread over his face as he leapt forward and hugged Justin. "You remember, thank God, you remember him..." Justin hugged him back. "I just hope Lance doesn't get mad I forgot him," he said. Things were still fuzzy, but he definitely wasn't imagining any of this. "Hey, Joe, is Lance here right now?" Joey didn't say a word, but pointed to the mirror instead. There, written with what looked like lipstick he'd managed to get from SOMEONE, was the simple word: "Always."