Part 24

Inner Reflection | home

~All I ever want to say is nobody else in the whole wide world makes me feel this way~

The next few days passed uneventfully. JC stayed with Lance almost constantly. His cot went unused. He slept with Lance every night, holding his love, kissing him tenderly, whispering words of love, sometimes even singing him to sleep.

The second day in the private room, the doctor's removed the large bandage from Lance's head, revealing a swath of shaved hair, about five inches wide, behind Lance's hairline. In the middle was the horseshoe shaped incision, held together with thick, black stitches.

"I guess it looks pretty bad, huh?" Lance asked, taking in the expression on JC's face.

"No, not really," JC said, his voice strained.

"So then why do you look like that?"

"Like what?" JC said evasively, looking away.

"Josh," Lance prompted, taking his hand.

JC looked at him, his eyes wet with unshed tears. "It's just that, uh, seeing that," he gestured vaguely at the incision. "It makes me realize how close I came to losng you."

Lance bit his lip. "I'm right here," he said, squeezing JC's hand.

"I know," JC said, tracing a finger over the newly smooth skin of Lance's head, not touching the incision. "I've said it before, I know, but you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

JC leaned over to kiss him, gently. "Especially now."

Roy and Karen Chasez stood uneasily outside their son's lover's hospital room. Their son's lover. Oh God, this was hard. They had not spoken to their son in two days, and were starting to worry when they could not get in touch with him. They had finally called Justin's mother, who told them that JC was staying at the hospital, full time, now that Lance had been moved to a private room. If they wanted to see their son, Lynn had said, they would have to go to the hospital to see him, because JC was not going to leave Lance's side willingly.

After JC had explained the origins of his relationship with Lance, Roy and Karen had decided to try to accept and support their son's relationship unconditionally. Part of that acceptance was coming to visit Lance in the hospital. Now, they were starting to doubt their decisions. Being accepting and supportive in an abstract sense was one thing. This? This was completely different.

"I'm not sure that I can do this," Karen whispered, clutching her husband's hand.

Roy sighed. "I know. But...we have no choice. This is our son. This is who he is."

"I know, it's just..."

"We don't want to lose him, do we?"

"Then we have to do this, because if don't accept Lance, we're going to lose Josh for good."

Karen closed her eyes against that thought. "All right," she said, leading him to the door. "Let's go."

The privacy curtain in Lance's room was drawn halfway around the bed. They could not see anyone. They walked slowly to the open side of the curtain. Three years ago, the sight that greeted them would have sent them running from the room. Now, they felt an odd mixture of sorrow and acceptance.

Lance was sleeping, curled up against JC, his head nestled in the crook of JC's shoulder, his hand clutched in JC's shirt, above his chest. JC, also asleep, was holding Lance protectively. His chin rested atop the non-shaved, non-bandaged part of Lance's head, in the soft blond hair.

They looked so comfortable, so right, Karen thought to herself. The thing that she really noticed was the smile on JC's face. Even in sleep his happiness and utter contentment was obvious. She looked at them, almost fascinated.

"Should we wake them?" Roy asked, softly.

Karen shook her head, reluctant to break the spell. She glanced around the room, taking in the various cards and flower arrangements that Lance had received. Her eyes rested on a beautiful arrangement of red roses at Lance's bedside. Cautiously, she picked up the card that rested among the roses. She smiled slightly as she read the card.

You know that I love you more than anything. I know that everything will be fine. I can't wait to take you home so we can get on with the rest of our lives together.

Carefully, she placed the card back in it's resting spot. Doing so, she jostled the bed, slightly. She was very surprised when that slight movement caused JC shift into waking. Normally he could sleep through a hurricane. Looking around, he blinked in surprise.

"Hey mom," he said, sleepily. "Dad." He shifted slightly, but did not loosen his grip on his lover. "When'd you guys get here?"

"Just now," his father said. "How are you?"

"I'm ok," JC said, shifting again. His movement disturbed the man in his arms.

"What?" Lance murmured, half awake.

"Nothing, baby," JC said, softly, kissing Lance's head. "Go back to sleep."

"'s here?" he asked, his voice slurring slightly.

Lance's eyes opened slightly, and he looked at JC's parents through bleary eyes. "Hey," he muttered, before closing his eyes and burying himself deeper into JC's embrace.

"You going back to sleep?" JC asked, amused.

"Good," JC smiled. "I love you."

"Love you too," Lance muttered, his face muffled by JC's shoulder.

JC's smile grew as he felt Lance body relax into sleep again. When he was sure that Lance was out, he said softly, "I'm sorry that I haven't called you."

"That's ok," Karen said, smiling. "You had more important things on your mind."

Roy was surprised at that. So was JC, but he nodded slightly. "Yeah, I have."

"So, where are his parents?" Roy asked.

His parents watched as JC's face became tense and angry. "Probably at home reading their bible, trying to justify their behavior."

"You mean they're not here?" Karen asked, in surprise. JC nodded. "Why?"

"Who knows?" JC said, trying to keep his voice low. "Well, I know she's not here because she's a hateful bitch. I don't know why he isn't here. I haven't talked to him."

Karen could not believe it. She and Roy may have been upset at JC, but the idea of not being there when their son was sick was unthinkable to her. "Oh, poor thing," she said, looking at Lance, feeling all sorts of motherly instincts welling up in her for this abandoned child. She reached out and caressed Lance's cheek lovingly, shocking her husband and son even more. Making a decision, she turned to her husband. "I think we should leave."

"Karen?" he asked, confused.

"Mom?" JC said, simultaneously, his voice worried.

"It's ok, sweetie," she said, coming around to his side, and kissing him on the cheek. "We'll be back. I just have something that I need to do." She glanced at her husband. "Come on, " she said, walking out the door. Roy and JC exchanged a look, and Roy shrugged before following his wife out the door, leaving a puzzled JC.


	Inner Reflection \| home back to But Faith Part 24 ~All I ever want to say is nobody else in the whole wide world makes me feel this way~ The next few days passed uneventfully. JC stayed with Lance almost constantly. His cot went unused. He slept with Lance every night, holding his love, kissing him tenderly, whispering words of love, sometimes even singing him to sleep. The second day in the private room, the doctor's removed the large bandage from Lance's head, revealing a swath of shaved hair, about five inches wide, behind Lance's hairline. In the middle was the horseshoe shaped incision, held together with thick, black stitches. "I guess it looks pretty bad, huh?" Lance asked, taking in the expression on JC's face. "No, not really," JC said, his voice strained. "So then why do you look like that?" "Like what?" JC said evasively, looking away. "Josh," Lance prompted, taking his hand. JC looked at him, his eyes wet with unshed tears. "It's just that, uh, seeing that," he gestured vaguely at the incision. "It makes me realize how close I came to losng you." Lance bit his lip. "I'm right here," he said, squeezing JC's hand. "I know," JC said, tracing a finger over the newly smooth skin of Lance's head, not touching the incision. "I've said it before, I know, but you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." "Even now?" JC leaned over to kiss him, gently. "Especially now." *** Roy and Karen Chasez stood uneasily outside their son's lover's hospital room. Their son's lover. Oh God, this was hard. They had not spoken to their son in two days, and were starting to worry when they could not get in touch with him. They had finally called Justin's mother, who told them that JC was staying at the hospital, full time, now that Lance had been moved to a private room. If they wanted to see their son, Lynn had said, they would have to go to the hospital to see him, because JC was not going to leave Lance's side willingly. After JC had explained the origins of his relationship with Lance, Roy and Karen had decided to try to accept and support their son's relationship unconditionally. Part of that acceptance was coming to visit Lance in the hospital. Now, they were starting to doubt their decisions. Being accepting and supportive in an abstract sense was one thing. This? This was completely different. "I'm not sure that I can do this," Karen whispered, clutching her husband's hand. Roy sighed. "I know. But...we have no choice. This is our son. This is who he is." "I know, it's just..." "We don't want to lose him, do we?" "Of course not!" "Then we have to do this, because if don't accept Lance, we're going to lose Josh for good." Karen closed her eyes against that thought. "All right," she said, leading him to the door. "Let's go." The privacy curtain in Lance's room was drawn halfway around the bed. They could not see anyone. They walked slowly to the open side of the curtain. Three years ago, the sight that greeted them would have sent them running from the room. Now, they felt an odd mixture of sorrow and acceptance. Lance was sleeping, curled up against JC, his head nestled in the crook of JC's shoulder, his hand clutched in JC's shirt, above his chest. JC, also asleep, was holding Lance protectively. His chin rested atop the non-shaved, non-bandaged part of Lance's head, in the soft blond hair. They looked so comfortable, so right, Karen thought to herself. The thing that she really noticed was the smile on JC's face. Even in sleep his happiness and utter contentment was obvious. She looked at them, almost fascinated. "Should we wake them?" Roy asked, softly. Karen shook her head, reluctant to break the spell. She glanced around the room, taking in the various cards and flower arrangements that Lance had received. Her eyes rested on a beautiful arrangement of red roses at Lance's bedside. Cautiously, she picked up the card that rested among the roses. She smiled slightly as she read the card. ~Baby, You know that I love you more than anything. I know that everything will be fine. I can't wait to take you home so we can get on with the rest of our lives together. All my love, J~ Carefully, she placed the card back in it's resting spot. Doing so, she jostled the bed, slightly. She was very surprised when that slight movement caused JC shift into waking. Normally he could sleep through a hurricane. Looking around, he blinked in surprise. "Hey mom," he said, sleepily. "Dad." He shifted slightly, but did not loosen his grip on his lover. "When'd you guys get here?" "Just now," his father said. "How are you?" "I'm ok," JC said, shifting again. His movement disturbed the man in his arms. "What?" Lance murmured, half awake. "Nothing, baby," JC said, softly, kissing Lance's head. "Go back to sleep." "'s here?" he asked, his voice slurring slightly. "My parents." Lance's eyes opened slightly, and he looked at JC's parents through bleary eyes. "Hey," he muttered, before closing his eyes and burying himself deeper into JC's embrace. "You going back to sleep?" JC asked, amused. "Yeah." "Good," JC smiled. "I love you." "Love you too," Lance muttered, his face muffled by JC's shoulder. JC's smile grew as he felt Lance body relax into sleep again. When he was sure that Lance was out, he said softly, "I'm sorry that I haven't called you." "That's ok," Karen said, smiling. "You had more important things on your mind." Roy was surprised at that. So was JC, but he nodded slightly. "Yeah, I have." "So, where are his parents?" Roy asked. His parents watched as JC's face became tense and angry. "Probably at home reading their bible, trying to justify their behavior." "You mean they're not here?" Karen asked, in surprise. JC nodded. "Why?" "Who knows?" JC said, trying to keep his voice low. "Well, I know she's not here because she's a hateful bitch. I don't know why he isn't here. I haven't talked to him." Karen could not believe it. She and Roy may have been upset at JC, but the idea of not being there when their son was sick was unthinkable to her. "Oh, poor thing," she said, looking at Lance, feeling all sorts of motherly instincts welling up in her for this abandoned child. She reached out and caressed Lance's cheek lovingly, shocking her husband and son even more. Making a decision, she turned to her husband. "I think we should leave." "Karen?" he asked, confused. "Mom?" JC said, simultaneously, his voice worried. "It's ok, sweetie," she said, coming around to his side, and kissing him on the cheek. "We'll be back. I just have something that I need to do." She glanced at her husband. "Come on, " she said, walking out the door. Roy and JC exchanged a look, and Roy shrugged before following his wife out the door, leaving a puzzled JC.