Inner Reflection     |   home back to   Sent From Above Chapter 64 Justin darted out of JC's room, followed by a shoe. "Jesus!" he yelled. "If you didn't want me to bother you, you could've SAID SO, man." "I don't want you to bother me!" came JC's voice. "I'm sleeping!" "Thanks for the warning!" Justin shot back before shutting the door. He turned and saw Chris doubled over in laughter. "What?" he asked crossly. "Dude, he's worse than YOU are now," Chris said. "Well I think he sleeps too much," Justin said, crossing his arms over his chest with a frown. Chris sobered up. "It's not so much the sleeping part I'm worried about," he said. "It's the dreams." ***** Nikolas was still trying to think of a plan to get Lance back. They had to be cautious, though, because if they were down there for too long, they'd be stuck. That was part of the confusion though. Nikolas was certain he'd be able to feel if anything happened to Lance. So far, there had been nothing. But there was always the possibility of-- Suddenly, he saw a figure appear a few feet in front of him before collapsing. He looked closer. "Oh no...James?" He ran over, seeing the tattered and dirty clothes. Lance was on his back, practically writhing in pain. Then Nikolas saw one of the angel's wings at an odd angle. "They broke your wing," he said softly. He held back his happiness in seeing Lance again, knowing they'd hurt him... Lance's eyelids fluttered and he smiled weakly. "Now whatever gave you that idea?" he asked, breathing deeply against the pain. Nikolas reached out to touch it, but withdrew his hand when Lance winced. "James..." he began softly. Lance took another deep breath and his eyelids fluttered once more. "Miss me?" he asked, then promptly lost consciousness. ***** "JC, you know..." Justin sighed. "He's asleep again," he called. "AGAIN?" Joey yelled. "Uh huh." Justin left the room, not hearing JC softly start to mumble in his sleep. "I care about you, Lance," he muttered. "I don't want you hurt...I..." he tossed and turned, hearing phrases over and over in his head... --James Bass. But I go by Lance.-- --This is so hard...I...I'm gay, you guys. I'm gay.-- --...Rocks, sticks, and knives aren't very gentle...-- --...He lost control when his wheel got stuck and the brakes weren't working...Angry? I'm not angry.-- --Maybe I'm cold-blooded. Or would that make me warm-blooded? I don't know, I wasn't paying attention when they talked about that.-- --I don't think you want to do that... -I think I do... -No! JC! -Are you okay? -F...fi...fine... -Are you...are you okay, Lance? -Fine...it went past me...-- --Still thinking about it? -Yeah...I mean, I've always liked girls... -And I did too. But like I said, by beautiful friend Sarah suddenly wasn't very beautiful to me...I think I liked the way her boyfriend looked more than the way she looked...-- --Good! I LIKE seeing you annoyed!-- --Yes I did...And don't worry about me, I can take care of myself... -But that's just the thing, Lance! You always say that! And you always do! And then somehow you find the time to make sure the four of us are okay too!-- --The claw chooses who will go and who will stay... -I have been chosen, farewell my friend... -NOW, Lance... -Sir, yes sir!-- --...None of us would've thought of it because we aren't HICKS from good ol' MISSISSIPPI! -You dissin Mississippi?...Uh oh. -What, JC? Poofu gonna beat me up?...Come on, little southern boy, you know you want it... -Oh, now you're dissin the South all together?...You're in trouble... -Hey, Lance, looks like he's dissin our heri-tage... -Uh oh...we cain't have no one dissin our roots, cain we now? -Nice...I give it a ten... -Lemme try...The South can kiss my northern ASS! -I'd rather not...Thems be fightin words... -We can beat your northern ass though, right Lance? -Two on two then... -Who's side are you on, C? -Hey, I'm DC. I'm neutral... -No, you're boring...-- --DAMMIT JC!...YOU'RE the one that doesn't get it! This isn't a choice, it's not something you can just DECIDE to be or not to be! You can't just wake up one day and say, 'Hey! I think I'll be gay today! Maybe tomorrow I'll be straight again!' It doesn't work like that!...And no offense or anything, JC, but you have NO idea what you're talking about here...YOU don't know what it's like to have BOTH of your parents disown you and pretend you're dead, tell everyone they know that you're dead, when you're fourteen years old. Be left alone in the world at fourteen years old. You were singing along with a freaking MOUSE when you were fourteen. When I was fourteen, I got kicked out of my family tree...-- --My girlfriend? That's not...logical, is it?-- --He found out...That's all I can say, really, please... -Lance... -Please, Josh...Please don't make me answer that...Please...--- --Poor thing...you want me to kiss it and make it feel better? -...Thank you... -Feel better? -Uh huh. Wanna kiss it again?-- --JC, truth or dare? -Dare. -Kiss Lance. -WHAT?! -You heard me...I. Dare you. To kiss. Lance. For thirty seconds...-- --When Chris asked me how I really felt about you...I lied...Because I get jealous when I hear about how it's Danielle's turn to visit you, and she's coming next week, and I get mad when Lou yells at you and I don't feel like you're just a brother or a friend anymore...you mean more to me than that. And I really, really liked that kiss... -What?-- --Yeah, that's what I said. And I mean it too. I was confused, but I don't think I am anymore... -What are you saying, Lance? -What I'm saying, JC, is that I really liked kissing you. And I'd like to try it again. Lots of times... -Maybe you should...-- --Pwease, Joshy, lemme in?-- --It's a HEADACHE. You get them all the time. Now go get me some!...Thanks...Now come lay down... -Demanding, aren't we? -Uh huh. It's my birthday. So you have to do what I wanna do.-- --Lance, come on, get up, we gotta do the show... -...Uh uh... -Please? -I can't... -Lance, come on. I'm not kidding. -Neither am I.-- --Lance?...Lance?! -Josh... -Oh God...GUYS!...GUYS! -Oh my God...what happened? -He just collapsed...I don't know...Call 911...NOW!-- --...When he was...passed out and on the stretcher. You said you loved him, did't you? -...Yeah, I did.-- --...Promise me something...If something ever happens to me...Anything...and well...you have to promise me that you'll be okay...Promise me that much, please? -You have to promise me the same thing then.-- --Why won't you let me in, Lance? What are you so afraid of? -Everything. I'm afraid of losing you one day. I'm afraid of tomorrow, I'm afraid of Lou, I'm afraid of the public finding out about us. But mostly? I'm afraid of you walking out that door...and never again feeling the way I feel when I'm with you...-- --You're not...dead, are you? Am I dreaming or something? Are you like a ghost? -You're not dreaming...Remember what we were talking about before all this?...I love you too. More than anything...-- --Well...it couldn't kill me because...this is so hard. Because...I'm already dead...-- --Who are you, then?...What are you? -I'm not bad, I swear...-- --I just told you about me...About what I really am. I wasn't supposed to do that. That was Rule Number 1...Besides, I broke the other rule...Rule Number 2... -What's that? -I fell in love-- --I have to leave... -What? For how long? Why? -That's just the way it is...As for how long?...Forever.-- --I'm sorry for loving you...It's my fault you have to leave... -I'm not sorry for loving you...-- --It's one of the things I love about you. I know you need space sometimes; everyone does...-- --No! You're leaving...you can't go...please don't go...please...don't leave me...No...no...I don't want you to go...I love you SO MUCH, Lance...I don't want you to leave... -Josh, you know I'd do anything...ANYTHING I could to stay here with you. I love you too, Josh...I don't want to leave you. I don't want to go.-- --We'll be together again before you know it. And you'll remember me...when you die. But you're not going to die; you're going to live...live until you're so old you can't move. Then we'll be together again...-- --What are you doing? Memorizing me by heart? -I already know you by heart...-- --I love you...I love you more than anything. We'll be together again someday, I promise. I love you.-- JC finally shot awake, free from the voices that were plaguing him...the voices of his bandmates and that other...deep voice. The voice...Suddenly, everything made since. "Oh my God...I remember...I remember..." He remembered everything. Everything. Lance. His lover, his best friend. Lance. "Lance," he sobbed. "Lance..." ***** "Hey, Nikolas," Lance said weakly, coming to again, though Nikolas thought he seemed rather disoriented. "James? What HAPPENED down there? How did you get out?" "I don't know," Lance said. "I just sorta started glowing...and flying, and I flew...can you fix my wing, please? It hurts. And I want to go back to see everybody..."