Chapter 56

Inner Reflection | home

"James," Nikolas said, his voice weary, "Your family has been dead for more than a hundred years. A lot happens in a hundred years. Opinions change, beliefs change, everything changes. Your parents are no exception."

"Then why did they wait so long?" Lance asked, still unbelieving. "They could've said something before I left, they could've said something when--"

"Take it or leave it, James. You know it's the closest thing you're going to get to an apology."

Lance sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I know," he said, turning away from Nikolas and watching Joey again. Then he straightened up and looked closer. Nikolas looked down to see that JC had entered the picture.

"You need to stop this," Nikolas said.

Lance didn't look at him. "Stop what?" he mumbled.

"Pining after Joshua like this. It's not healthy."

Lance didn't turn to look at him, but Nikolas could hear the anger in the young angel's voice when he spoke. "So what? I'm not going to die, am I? And I can't help it if I miss talking to him, if I miss the way he'd smile at me, the way he'd grin and his eyes would crinkle when I called him Josh, the way he kissed...I can't help it if I miss the way he made me feel...he made me feel complete, Nikolas, and I can't help but miss that. If I had just died, I would've been able to handle better, because he still has the memories...but now, the fact that he doesn't remember it...any word spoken, any touch, any hug...any kiss...the fact that he doesn't remember it only makes it hurt more. So forgive me, Nikolas, when I miss the only person I've ever loved." Lance's voice wavered at the end of it, and Nikolas saw a tear fall out of his eye before the blond wiped it away.

Nikolas immediately felt remorseful. He knew he hadn't been much help to the young angel lately; but he couldn't help it. Nobody liked seeing him this unhappy...he could hide it relatively well, but everyone knew where his heart was and where he wanted to be. "James," he started, putting a hand on his shoulder, "I--"

Lance shrugged the hand off and didn't turn around. "Please," he said. "Let me just be alone right now, please." He continued to watch Joey and the other members of the group as he felt the high angel's presence disappear.

"Ken, get off of me," Justin muttered, trying to concentrate on the game he was playing with JC. He twisted his head, trying to see what he was doing.

"Lemme alone, JC just blew me up!" he exclaimed.

"Serves you right, Curly," JC snickered.

"I'm not doing anything wrong," Ken said innocently. He jumped on JC's back.

"KEN!" He turned his head, and for a second, saw the blond from his dreams. Then Ken was there again. He shook it off, concentrating on what the guy on his back was saying.

"Why do you wear that?" Ken asked for the millionth time, poking at JC's necklace.

JC swatted his hand away. "Because I want to, dork," he said, trying to get the man off his back.

"I think you should take it off."

"Cause I don't think it likes me," Ken said. "It like...glares at me. Or something."

"What the hell are you on?" JC asked, eyes wide with disbelief. "It GLARES at you?"

"Shut up," Ken said, hitting JC on the back of the head. Then he knocked the younger man to the ground.

"CHRIS! Bring out the SECRET WEAPON!" Justin called, trying to help JC get out from underneath Ken.

"Got it," they heard.

"What the..." Ken stopped for a second as he heard the beginning of a slightly familiar song fill the room. The CD skipped as Chris went past the very beginning.

"I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world

Life in plastic, it's fantastic

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere...

Imagination, life is your creation...

I'm a Barbie Girl, in the Barbie world...

Life in plastic, it's fantastic...

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere...

Imagination, life is your creation..."

"What the HELL?" Ken stormed up angrily, hitting Justin as he did so. JC and Justin doubled over laughing, and Justin yelped when he felt Ken's arm connect with the side of his face. That didn't stop his laughter, though.

"I'm a blond bimbo girl,

In a fantasy world,

Dress me up, make it tight

I'm your dolly..."

"Look, Ken, your big part is coming up!" Justin choked out.

"Shut UP!" Ken growled.

"Uh oh...are you getting MAD, Ken?" JC asked.

"You're my doll, rock n' roll,

Feel the glamorous thing

Kiss me here, touch me there,

You can touch, you can play,

If you say I'm always yours..."

"CHRIS!" Ken yelled. "TURN THAT DAMN THING OFF!"

"NO!" They heard Chris chortle from another room. He increased the volume. Joey came in to investigate the noise, and joined JC and Justin in their mirth.

"I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world

Life in plastic, it's fantastic

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere...

Imagination, life is your creation..."

"Ken, it's another part for you! Why don't you sing along?" Joey asked. He loved seeing the tables turned; usually Ken teased him about something or other. "You know you want to."

"SHUT UP!" Ken said angrily. He stalked across the room. "CHRIS!"

"Come on Barbie let's go party..."

Chris skipped a couple more seconds of the song.

"Make me walk, make me talk,

Do whatever you please,

I can act like a star,

I can beg on my knees..."

"TAKE IT AWAY, KEN!" They heard Chris yell as another male part floated in from the small stereo he was playing. Ken had disappeared. JC got up, still laughing, and followed.

"Come jump in, be my friend,

Let us do it again,

Hit the town, fool around,

You can touch, you can play,

If you say, I'm always yours...

You can touch, you can play,

If you say, I'm always yours..."

"I swear to God, Chris," Ken was saying. Chris had jumped on top of the bed and was holding the stereo over his head.

"You'll never get it!" Chris yelled.

"We should've thought of this earlier," JC said from the doorway. Ken spun around, anger smoldering in his eyes.

"Come on Barbie, let's go party...

Come on Barbie, let's go party...

Ahh ahh ahh yeah..."

"What the HELL are you guys trying to do?" Ken asked. "This isn't FUNNY!"

"Yes it is!" Chris sing-songed over the music.

"What, you can dish it, but you can't take it?" JC asked, looking at Ken now.

"I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world

Life in plastic, it's fantastic

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere...

Imagination, life is your creation...

I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world

Life in plastic, it's fantastic

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere...

Imagination, life is your creation..."

"I can take it just fine. But when you're insulting my girlfriend..."

"This isn't an insult. It's a joke," JC clarified. "Teasing. Calm down."

"Come on Barbie, let's go party..."

"Turn it off, Chris," JC finally said, he and Ken still staring at each other.

"Just turn it off," JC sighed. Chris complied, cutting off the voice of "Ken" in the middle of him asking Barbie to go party. "What's your problem, man?"

"I DON'T want you guys insulting her, okay?"

"It's not an insult, we don't mean it in bad way," JC said. "It's more of a compliment. We think she looks like Barbie."

"And she's got enough plastic in her to pa--"

"Chris," JC said, his voice holding a tone of warning. Chris stopped his muttering. Usually, he and Ken were partners, wreaking havoc on the rest of the band. But lately, he had found Ken to be more of a nuisance than a friend. The constant talk about Shari had his head spinning; that's when they'd all come up with this. "Look, I don't get what your problem is here," JC continued. He really didn't understand.

Ken rolled his eyes. "My problem is that you guys act like the fact that my girlfriend SLIGHTLY resembles a plastic doll is something to bother me about. It's NOT funny. It's annoying and I want it to STOP. Just because you're jealous--"

Where had that come from? "What are you TALKING about?" Was he getting Déjà vu?

"You know what I'm talking about."

But JC didn't hear him. A sudden thought popped into his brain, then left as quickly as it had entered. --Actually, you lost me way back when you started looking at me like you wanted my HEAD on a PLATTER with a sliver knife and fork next to it...-- And then the thought was gone. Where had it come from?

"Earth to JC," Chris said, waving a hand in front of his face.

"You spaced out and Kenny Boy got pissed and left."

"Where did you go?" he asked.

"Hmm? I was right here...just thinking of someone-- I mean, something, that's all..."


	Inner Reflection \| home back to Sent From Above Chapter 56 "But why now?" "James," Nikolas said, his voice weary, "Your family has been dead for more than a hundred years. A lot happens in a hundred years. Opinions change, beliefs change, everything changes. Your parents are no exception." "Then why did they wait so long?" Lance asked, still unbelieving. "They could've said something before I left, they could've said something when--" "Take it or leave it, James. You know it's the closest thing you're going to get to an apology." Lance sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I know," he said, turning away from Nikolas and watching Joey again. Then he straightened up and looked closer. Nikolas looked down to see that JC had entered the picture. "You need to stop this," Nikolas said. Lance didn't look at him. "Stop what?" he mumbled. "Pining after Joshua like this. It's not healthy." Lance didn't turn to look at him, but Nikolas could hear the anger in the young angel's voice when he spoke. "So what? I'm not going to die, am I? And I can't help it if I miss talking to him, if I miss the way he'd smile at me, the way he'd grin and his eyes would crinkle when I called him Josh, the way he kissed...I can't help it if I miss the way he made me feel...he made me feel complete, Nikolas, and I can't help but miss that. If I had just died, I would've been able to handle better, because he still has the memories...but now, the fact that he doesn't remember it...any word spoken, any touch, any hug...any kiss...the fact that he doesn't remember it only makes it hurt more. So forgive me, Nikolas, when I miss the only person I've ever loved." Lance's voice wavered at the end of it, and Nikolas saw a tear fall out of his eye before the blond wiped it away. Nikolas immediately felt remorseful. He knew he hadn't been much help to the young angel lately; but he couldn't help it. Nobody liked seeing him this unhappy...he could hide it relatively well, but everyone knew where his heart was and where he wanted to be. "James," he started, putting a hand on his shoulder, "I--" Lance shrugged the hand off and didn't turn around. "Please," he said. "Let me just be alone right now, please." He continued to watch Joey and the other members of the group as he felt the high angel's presence disappear. ***** "Ken, get off of me," Justin muttered, trying to concentrate on the game he was playing with JC. He twisted his head, trying to see what he was doing. "Lemme alone, JC just blew me up!" he exclaimed. "Serves you right, Curly," JC snickered. "I'm not doing anything wrong," Ken said innocently. He jumped on JC's back. "KEN!" He turned his head, and for a second, saw the blond from his dreams. Then Ken was there again. He shook it off, concentrating on what the guy on his back was saying. "Why do you wear that?" Ken asked for the millionth time, poking at JC's necklace. JC swatted his hand away. "Because I want to, dork," he said, trying to get the man off his back. "I think you should take it off." "Why?" "Cause I don't think it likes me," Ken said. "It like...glares at me. Or something." "What the hell are you on?" JC asked, eyes wide with disbelief. "It GLARES at you?" "Shut up," Ken said, hitting JC on the back of the head. Then he knocked the younger man to the ground. "CHRIS! Bring out the SECRET WEAPON!" Justin called, trying to help JC get out from underneath Ken. "Got it," they heard. "What the..." Ken stopped for a second as he heard the beginning of a slightly familiar song fill the room. The CD skipped as Chris went past the very beginning. "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world Life in plastic, it's fantastic You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere... Imagination, life is your creation... Come on Barbie Let's go party... I'm a Barbie Girl, in the Barbie world... Life in plastic, it's fantastic... You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere... Imagination, life is your creation..." "What the HELL?" Ken stormed up angrily, hitting Justin as he did so. JC and Justin doubled over laughing, and Justin yelped when he felt Ken's arm connect with the side of his face. That didn't stop his laughter, though. "I'm a blond bimbo girl, In a fantasy world, Dress me up, make it tight I'm your dolly..." "Look, Ken, your big part is coming up!" Justin choked out. "Shut UP!" Ken growled. "Uh oh...are you getting MAD, Ken?" JC asked. "You're my doll, rock n' roll, Feel the glamorous thing Kiss me here, touch me there, Hanky Panky... You can touch, you can play, If you say I'm always yours..." "CHRIS!" Ken yelled. "TURN THAT DAMN THING OFF!" "NO!" They heard Chris chortle from another room. He increased the volume. Joey came in to investigate the noise, and joined JC and Justin in their mirth. "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world Life in plastic, it's fantastic You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere... Imagination, life is your creation..." "Ken, it's another part for you! Why don't you sing along?" Joey asked. He loved seeing the tables turned; usually Ken teased him about something or other. "You know you want to." "SHUT UP!" Ken said angrily. He stalked across the room. "CHRIS!" "Come on Barbie let's go party..." Chris skipped a couple more seconds of the song. "Make me walk, make me talk, Do whatever you please, I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees..." "TAKE IT AWAY, KEN!" They heard Chris yell as another male part floated in from the small stereo he was playing. Ken had disappeared. JC got up, still laughing, and followed. "Come jump in, be my friend, Let us do it again, Hit the town, fool around, Let's go party... You can touch, you can play, If you say, I'm always yours... You can touch, you can play, If you say, I'm always yours..." "I swear to God, Chris," Ken was saying. Chris had jumped on top of the bed and was holding the stereo over his head. "You'll never get it!" Chris yelled. "We should've thought of this earlier," JC said from the doorway. Ken spun around, anger smoldering in his eyes. "Come on Barbie, let's go party... Ahh ahh ahh yeah, Come on Barbie, let's go party... Ahh ahh ahh yeah, Come on Barbie, let's go party... Ahh ahh ahh yeah, Come on Barbie, let's go party... Ahh ahh ahh yeah..." "What the HELL are you guys trying to do?" Ken asked. "This isn't FUNNY!" "Yes it is!" Chris sing-songed over the music. "What, you can dish it, but you can't take it?" JC asked, looking at Ken now. "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world Life in plastic, it's fantastic You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere... Imagination, life is your creation... I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world Life in plastic, it's fantastic You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere... Imagination, life is your creation..." "I can take it just fine. But when you're insulting my girlfriend..." "This isn't an insult. It's a joke," JC clarified. "Teasing. Calm down." "Come on Barbie, let's go party..." "Turn it off, Chris," JC finally said, he and Ken still staring at each other. "But--" "Just turn it off," JC sighed. Chris complied, cutting off the voice of "Ken" in the middle of him asking Barbie to go party. "What's your problem, man?" "I DON'T want you guys insulting her, okay?" "It's not an insult, we don't mean it in bad way," JC said. "It's more of a compliment. We think she looks like Barbie." "And she's got enough plastic in her to pa--" "Chris," JC said, his voice holding a tone of warning. Chris stopped his muttering. Usually, he and Ken were partners, wreaking havoc on the rest of the band. But lately, he had found Ken to be more of a nuisance than a friend. The constant talk about Shari had his head spinning; that's when they'd all come up with this. "Look, I don't get what your problem is here," JC continued. He really didn't understand. Ken rolled his eyes. "My problem is that you guys act like the fact that my girlfriend SLIGHTLY resembles a plastic doll is something to bother me about. It's NOT funny. It's annoying and I want it to STOP. Just because you're jealous--" Where had that come from? "What are you TALKING about?" Was he getting Déjà vu? "You know what I'm talking about." But JC didn't hear him. A sudden thought popped into his brain, then left as quickly as it had entered. --Actually, you lost me way back when you started looking at me like you wanted my HEAD on a PLATTER with a sliver knife and fork next to it...-- And then the thought was gone. Where had it come from? "Earth to JC," Chris said, waving a hand in front of his face. "Huh? What?" "You spaced out and Kenny Boy got pissed and left." "Good," JC snorted. "Where did you go?" he asked. "Hmm? I was right here...just thinking of someone-- I mean, something, that's all..."