Chapter 48

Inner Reflection | home

JC appeared in the door. "What...oh my God, Lance! What's...what's happening?"

Nikolas sighed and looked at JC. "Lou said something that freaked him out...really bad, and now he's hyperventilating. We need to get him to calm down."

JC arched an eyebrow and contemplated something for a second. This guy wasn't exactly acting like a doctor, was he? Then he pushed the thought out of his mind. Of course he's a doctor, you idiot, he scolded himself. Just do what he said. And with that thought, he hurried forward to Lance's other side. "What do I have to do?"

"Just..." Nikolas paused, not exactly sure. "Just hold his hand. He needs another familiar face, and from what I've noticed, he seems closer to you than anyone, am I right?"

JC chewed the inside of his cheek, but nodded and grabbed his hand. Nikolas continued to try to calm Lance down. JC just looked at Lance, and the two locked eyes, though to Lance, JC was a little blurry. What had Lou said? JC was completely confused. Whatever had been said, it had definitely freaked Lance out, and that made him angrier. But he needed to stay calm, he reminded himself. Stay calm for Lance, stay calm for Lance, stay calm for Lance, stay calm for--

JC snapped his head up. "What?" he asked dumbly.

"Nothing. You just looked like you were somewhere else."

Somewhere else...far...far...far..."Um, no, just...wondering what Lou said..." He clapped his other hand over his mouth when Lance inhaled deeply again. "Sorry," he said sheepishly. He took the hand away from his mouth, and instead ran his fingers through Lance's hair, really not caring that Nikolas was still in the room with them.

Nikolas, on the other hand, opened his mouth to protest, but noticed it helped Lance calm down, and if that's what it took, then...but he was worried about what would happen later on. And Nikolas did not want to be there when everything blew up in Lance's face.

"What happened?" Justin asked JC. "I mean, Lou is like escorted out, and then you go in...what happened?"

JC sat down heavily and sighed. "I...Um...Well...Lou, I guess, said something that...freaked Lance out and...hestartedhyperventilating."

"He started hyperventilating," JC said, running a hand through his hair.

JC shrugged. "I dunno. Dr. Gates just wanted me to help calm him down..."

"Better," JC said. "I wanna know what Lou said," he said, anger starting to smolder in his eyes again.

"C, calm down. I mean, you don't--"

"No, you don't know, Justin," JC said coldly. Joey and Chris wisely decided to stay out of the conversation. "You didn't see him, Justin. He was terrified at something, and he wasn't breathing right...he got worse whenever Lou was mentioned. I don't get it. I don't get it at all."

"James, I need you to tell me what happened," Nikolas said.

Lance shook his head, eyes wide. "I don't wanna," he said.

"James, you have to. If it's enough to scare you that much, then it's dangerous and something we need to know about," Nikolas said sternly. Lance shook his head again. "James, please," he said.

Lance sniffled a little and turned his back to Nikolas. "What do they all want with me?" he whispered.

Nikolas was bewildered. "Who?"

"They want you to fail, James. You've been good all along and they haven't. They want you to fail."

There was a long pause, and Lance sniffled again. "Lou went nuts. He said that...that he wanted me back out there within...a week and I had to listen to what he says, or...or..." Lance took a deep, shuddering breath. "Or he'd out me and JC publicly."

"What? That would ruin him!"

"That's what I said. But then he told me that...he's got a friend in the tabloid business...named......." Lance stopped and there was a long, drawn out pause. When he finally spoke, it came out as a whisper. "Named Benny."

"They've teamed up. Lou's insane, Nikolas. He really said he'd out us, and he said..." Lance swallowed thickly. "He said he'd get the other guys hurt. Killed, even. He...Nikolas, I don't know what to do...I don't know what to do. What if Benny tells him what I am? The look in his eyes..." he choked back a sob. "The look in his eyes was just like...them when they...back when they..." he sobbed and couldn't continue.

"Shh, James, it'll be all right. We'll all keep an eye on you guys AND Louis. I promise." Nikolas knew that now was NOT a good time to mention anything about his "relationship." He sighed.

Lance looked back at him, eyes full of glittering tears. "You promise?"

"Lance, what happened?" JC asked softly, rubbing the back of Lance's hand with his thumb.

Lance shook his head. "I can't tell you...now...please?"

JC looked into his eyes and couldn't refuse his request. "You're too much," he said with a slight smile. "All right. But if you'll tell me later..."

Lance nodded. "Uh huh." He smiled when JC grinned. "I'm sorry," he said suddenly.

JC's grin disappeared. "For what?"

"Making you worry," he said, looking down.

JC took Lance's chin in his hand and looked him in the eye. "Don't apologize," he said. "You're okay now, and that's what matters."

"I know you were worried, though, and scared...and I feel bad that it was my fault," Lance said guiltily. He was speaking with his soul now.

"Don't be sorry...it wasn't your fault," JC said, stroking Lance's chin. He smiled. "You had me worried though. Lance...I want you to know that I care about you...so much..." he swallowed. "I don't know what I'd do without you in my life," he whispered.

Lance shook his head. "Don't say that, Josh...you'd go on...I know you would..."

"I'm not so sure about that," JC whispered.

Lance closed his eyes. "You'd have to. Promise me something."

"If something ever happens to me..." JC started shaking his head, but Lance continued. "If something ever happens to me...anything...and...well...you have to promise me that you'll be okay. Promise me that much, please?"

JC looked around the room, but finally back at Lance. "You have to promise me the same thing then."

Lance blinked, knowing that it would be MUCH harder for him to go on without JC. He got lost in his thoughts for a second. Just what, exactly, did he feel for JC? It ran deeper than what he'd originally thought. It wasn't friendship, it wasn't friendship "on a deeper level," it wasn't...love...no, it wasn't love. He didn't love JC. He couldn't. He just liked him and cared about him...a lot. A lot. Not love. "I promise," he said quietly.

JC reached out and hugged him. "How did we get so cheesy?" he whispered into

JC's ears. "That was straight out of Titanic."

JC laughed a little, a vibrating in his chest that Lance could hear. "You said it, not me."

"I didn't need you to dedicate the concert to me," Lance groaned. "Four high pitched monkeys?" he asked, looking at JC.

Joey smiled. "Yup. We REALLY sucked without you. Completely lost. And Chris was crying."

"Shut up," Lance said, blushing. "I don't care about whether or not Chris was crying. I just care about the fact that I'm getting OUT of here tomorrow."

JC muttered something about being too soon, but Justin elbowed him in the ribs and he shut up. "So," Justin yawned.

Lance laughed. "Go home, Justin, you're about ready to pass out."

"Uh uh," Justin said. "I'm not tired."

"Yeah, neither is he," Lance said, gesturing to Chris, who had fallen asleep in the chair.

"Shut up," Justin muttered.

Lance laughed again. "You two think you can get them home?" he asked, directing his question at JC and Joey.

JC pouted. "I wanna stay longer," he whispered to Lance.

Lance grinned. "Against the rules," he said. "And besides, I don't think the others want to stay..." he trailed off, noticing the room was empty.

"Here," he finished, a puzzled frown on his face. His brow furrowed.

JC looked around. "They were my ride you know. I guess that means...I can't get back," he said with a mischievous smile.

Lance shook his head, but smiled when he saw JC yawn. "You're tired too."

"Uh uh," JC protested. "I wanna talk to you...some more."

A smile played across Lance's face. He reached for JC's hand, and stroked it softly with his thumb. "Come here," he said. JC looked at him, a puzzled look crossing his features. He tugged on JC's hand. "What they don't know won't hurt them," he said. He shifted to the edge of the bed. JC finally understood and allowed himself to be pulled onto the bed. He curled his arms around Lance protectively, and Lance snuggled his head into his chest and sighed, listening to JC's heart beat...a heart beat he didn't have.


	Inner Reflection \| home back to Sent From Above Chapter 48 JC appeared in the door. "What...oh my God, Lance! What's...what's happening?" Nikolas sighed and looked at JC. "Lou said something that freaked him out...really bad, and now he's hyperventilating. We need to get him to calm down." JC arched an eyebrow and contemplated something for a second. This guy wasn't exactly acting like a doctor, was he? Then he pushed the thought out of his mind. Of course he's a doctor, you idiot, he scolded himself. Just do what he said. And with that thought, he hurried forward to Lance's other side. "What do I have to do?" "Just..." Nikolas paused, not exactly sure. "Just hold his hand. He needs another familiar face, and from what I've noticed, he seems closer to you than anyone, am I right?" JC chewed the inside of his cheek, but nodded and grabbed his hand. Nikolas continued to try to calm Lance down. JC just looked at Lance, and the two locked eyes, though to Lance, JC was a little blurry. What had Lou said? JC was completely confused. Whatever had been said, it had definitely freaked Lance out, and that made him angrier. But he needed to stay calm, he reminded himself. Stay calm for Lance, stay calm for Lance, stay calm for Lance, stay calm for-- "JC?" JC snapped his head up. "What?" he asked dumbly. "Nothing. You just looked like you were somewhere else." Somewhere else...far...far...far..."Um, no, just...wondering what Lou said..." He clapped his other hand over his mouth when Lance inhaled deeply again. "Sorry," he said sheepishly. He took the hand away from his mouth, and instead ran his fingers through Lance's hair, really not caring that Nikolas was still in the room with them. Nikolas, on the other hand, opened his mouth to protest, but noticed it helped Lance calm down, and if that's what it took, then...but he was worried about what would happen later on. And Nikolas did not want to be there when everything blew up in Lance's face. * "What happened?" Justin asked JC. "I mean, Lou is like escorted out, and then you go in...what happened?" JC sat down heavily and sighed. "I...Um...Well...Lou, I guess, said something that...freaked Lance out and...hestartedhyperventilating." "What?" "He started hyperventilating," JC said, running a hand through his hair. "What did Lou say?" JC shrugged. "I dunno. Dr. Gates just wanted me to help calm him down..." "How is he now?" "Better," JC said. "I wanna know what Lou said," he said, anger starting to smolder in his eyes again. "C, calm down. I mean, you don't--" "No, you don't know, Justin," JC said coldly. Joey and Chris wisely decided to stay out of the conversation. "You didn't see him, Justin. He was terrified at something, and he wasn't breathing right...he got worse whenever Lou was mentioned. I don't get it. I don't get it at all." * "James, I need you to tell me what happened," Nikolas said. Lance shook his head, eyes wide. "I don't wanna," he said. "James, you have to. If it's enough to scare you that much, then it's dangerous and something we need to know about," Nikolas said sternly. Lance shook his head again. "James, please," he said. Lance sniffled a little and turned his back to Nikolas. "What do they all want with me?" he whispered. Nikolas was bewildered. "Who?" "Benny, and..." "They want you to fail, James. You've been good all along and they haven't. They want you to fail." There was a long pause, and Lance sniffled again. "Lou went nuts. He said that...that he wanted me back out there within...a week and I had to listen to what he says, or...or..." Lance took a deep, shuddering breath. "Or he'd out me and JC publicly." "What? That would ruin him!" "That's what I said. But then he told me that...he's got a friend in the tabloid business...named......." Lance stopped and there was a long, drawn out pause. When he finally spoke, it came out as a whisper. "Named Benny." "What?!" "They've teamed up. Lou's insane, Nikolas. He really said he'd out us, and he said..." Lance swallowed thickly. "He said he'd get the other guys hurt. Killed, even. He...Nikolas, I don't know what to do...I don't know what to do. What if Benny tells him what I am? The look in his eyes..." he choked back a sob. "The look in his eyes was just like...them when they...back when they..." he sobbed and couldn't continue. "Shh, James, it'll be all right. We'll all keep an eye on you guys AND Louis. I promise." Nikolas knew that now was NOT a good time to mention anything about his "relationship." He sighed. Lance looked back at him, eyes full of glittering tears. "You promise?" "Promise." *** "Lance, what happened?" JC asked softly, rubbing the back of Lance's hand with his thumb. Lance shook his head. "I can't tell you...now...please?" JC looked into his eyes and couldn't refuse his request. "You're too much," he said with a slight smile. "All right. But if you'll tell me later..." Lance nodded. "Uh huh." He smiled when JC grinned. "I'm sorry," he said suddenly. JC's grin disappeared. "For what?" "Making you worry," he said, looking down. JC took Lance's chin in his hand and looked him in the eye. "Don't apologize," he said. "You're okay now, and that's what matters." "I know you were worried, though, and scared...and I feel bad that it was my fault," Lance said guiltily. He was speaking with his soul now. "Don't be sorry...it wasn't your fault," JC said, stroking Lance's chin. He smiled. "You had me worried though. Lance...I want you to know that I care about you...so much..." he swallowed. "I don't know what I'd do without you in my life," he whispered. Lance shook his head. "Don't say that, Josh...you'd go on...I know you would..." "I'm not so sure about that," JC whispered. Lance closed his eyes. "You'd have to. Promise me something." "What?" "If something ever happens to me..." JC started shaking his head, but Lance continued. "If something ever happens to me...anything...and...well...you have to promise me that you'll be okay. Promise me that much, please?" JC looked around the room, but finally back at Lance. "You have to promise me the same thing then." Lance blinked, knowing that it would be MUCH harder for him to go on without JC. He got lost in his thoughts for a second. Just what, exactly, did he feel for JC? It ran deeper than what he'd originally thought. It wasn't friendship, it wasn't friendship "on a deeper level," it wasn't...love...no, it wasn't love. He didn't love JC. He couldn't. He just liked him and cared about him...a lot. A lot. Not love. "I promise," he said quietly. JC reached out and hugged him. "How did we get so cheesy?" he whispered into JC's ears. "That was straight out of Titanic." JC laughed a little, a vibrating in his chest that Lance could hear. "You said it, not me." *** "I didn't need you to dedicate the concert to me," Lance groaned. "Four high pitched monkeys?" he asked, looking at JC. Joey smiled. "Yup. We REALLY sucked without you. Completely lost. And Chris was crying." "Was not." "Was too." "Was not!" "Was too!" "Shut up," Lance said, blushing. "I don't care about whether or not Chris was crying. I just care about the fact that I'm getting OUT of here tomorrow." JC muttered something about being too soon, but Justin elbowed him in the ribs and he shut up. "So," Justin yawned. Lance laughed. "Go home, Justin, you're about ready to pass out." "Uh uh," Justin said. "I'm not tired." "Yeah, neither is he," Lance said, gesturing to Chris, who had fallen asleep in the chair. "Shut up," Justin muttered. Lance laughed again. "You two think you can get them home?" he asked, directing his question at JC and Joey. "Sure," Joey said. JC pouted. "I wanna stay longer," he whispered to Lance. Lance grinned. "Against the rules," he said. "And besides, I don't think the others want to stay..." he trailed off, noticing the room was empty. "Here," he finished, a puzzled frown on his face. His brow furrowed. JC looked around. "They were my ride you know. I guess that means...I can't get back," he said with a mischievous smile. Lance shook his head, but smiled when he saw JC yawn. "You're tired too." "Uh uh," JC protested. "I wanna talk to you...some more." A smile played across Lance's face. He reached for JC's hand, and stroked it softly with his thumb. "Come here," he said. JC looked at him, a puzzled look crossing his features. He tugged on JC's hand. "What they don't know won't hurt them," he said. He shifted to the edge of the bed. JC finally understood and allowed himself to be pulled onto the bed. He curled his arms around Lance protectively, and Lance snuggled his head into his chest and sighed, listening to JC's heart beat...a heart beat he didn't have.