Inner Reflection     |   home
back to   When Love Hurts
Chapter 1
Lance turned over onto his left side and stared at the closed hotel door. The eery silence of the room pounded relentlessly into his mind. His right shoulder also started to throb, matching his heart beat perfectly as the blood flowed under the bruise that began to form. "I shouldn't have upset him," he thought to himself, his eyes still on the door. "I know how it gets when I upset him, I knew this was coming."

As Joey stormed to down to the hotel lounge, he thought back to what exactly Lance had done to anger him. The two had been fine just a minute before Joey lashed out at Lance. They had been nothing but regualar roommates; until Lance mentioned something that irrated him.

"Joey man," Lance started. "I know I said I'd be able to spend the day with you tomorrow, but something came up and I can't be with you most of the day. I'm so sorry."

"You said you would be with me. That means you're going to be with me. So either cancel your plans or you can forget our relationship," Joey stated angrily, shoving Lance into a wall.

"I know I said I'd be with you and I'm sorry, but he's really counting on me to be there with him tomorrow. I can't back out on Justin, he's depending on me."

As Joeys' rage erupted out of control, he hissed, "You're canceling plans with me to be with Justin? What are you? Cheating on me?" Joeys' fist didn't wait for a reply, they punched Lance right in the shoulder.

Gritting his teeth and clenching his hand over his shoulder, Lance took in a sharp breath and replied, "You know I'd never cheat on you Joey. I love you too much to do that. It's just that Justin asked me a few weeks ago if I'd go with him to this charity event tomorrow and I told him I'd go. I thought it would be good p.r. for the group."

As Joey listened, he got a sly smile across his face. "Well," he started. "If this is going to be a public event, I'll just go with you and make sure you're not cheating on me."

"Really Joey, I'm not cheating on you. You don't have to go with us tomorrow. It's just some all day event with representives from publishing companies. You know, people that would bore you with stupid children books and such. It wouldn't interest you to be there with a bunch of high class people."

At his words, Joey sent his hand flying across Lances' face, sending the blond to the ground in a heap. "What? You think I'm not high class enough for you?"

Obviously shaken, Lance shook his head. "You know what I mean. That...that you...you're the party animal of the group. Justin and I...we'll take...take care of this. That's what I meant Joey, honest. I'm sorry." He could already feel the tears stinging the back of his sea-foam green eyes, but he didn't dare let the tears fall. Joey always said that tears were for the weak, and he wouldn't have a weak boyfriend.

As the fury continued to build with Joey, he turned and headed for the door, no longer wanting to be in the presence of his boyfriend. "So you would rather spend the day with Justin instead of me?" he shouted, keeping his voice low enough for no one to hear him out in the hallway.

The slamming of the door echoed in Lances' mind as he slowly pulled himself up to his knees and onto the bed he'd share that night with Joey, if he came back. Curling up into a ball on the bed, he lay there, watching the door, wondering where his beloved was, and if he would come back.

-----
When Joey stormed through the doors of the bar in the hotel lobby, his voice bellowed over the rucis within the room. "Give me a straight tequila...NOW!"

The bartender shot him a strange look, but complied with the order. Setting a napkin with the hotels' logo upon it and a clean shot glass on top of the napkin, the young bartender rifled below the bar for a moment. Producing a half drained bottle of tequila, he proceeded to pour the clear liquid into the shot glass. "Girl problems?" he asked nonchalantly, trying to start up a conversation with the iriate customer.

"I guess you could call it that," he replied harshly, downing the tequila in one gulp then slamming the glass back on the counter. "Give me another."

Again the bartender complied, pouring more of the liquid into the shot glass. "Gonna drown away your problems then?"

"It's always worked before." Downing the shot, much like he did the first one, Joey asked, "Why don't you give me three more shot glasses?"

"If you got the cash, I got to the glasses," the bartender replied, reaching down and pulling out 3 shot glasses and setting them next to the one in the customers hand. "Set these up too?"

"Might as well..." Joey answered, furiously taking his problems out on the alcohol. The bartender did so without a word. He had seen this guy in the bar before, so he knew he was over 21 and therefore of legal age to be drinking. The only time he would stop was when he knew for a fact that he wouldn't have enough cash on hand to pay for the amount of liquor that was going into this guys system. But until then, he'd keep them coming just as fast as Joey wanted them.

-----
Two hours later, Joey had downed enough of the liquior to slur his voice and impair his ablity to walk. Paying for the drinks, some $50 dollars worth, he managed to stumble out of the bar and into the lobby, trying to remember which floor his room was on.

The people he passed in the lobby and in the hallway stepped aside, giving the weaving one all the room he needed. His tired, bloodshot eyes gave it away that he had been 'downing his troubles'. But all the curious looks and glares went unnoticed by the famous heart-throb. His only mission was to get back to his room, wherever it was.

Finally realizing that the key he was holding was upside down when he reached the door, Joey turned it over and tried to insert it into the keyhole. Proving unseccessful, his only action left was to bang on the door, which he did. "Lance, open up the damn door!" he shouted, his voice slurred.

A few seconds of pounding went by when Lance finally opened the door. Even though the blond had wiped away the tears some time ago, it was more then obivous that he had been crying. His eyes, almost as red as Joeys', were lowered in shame as he stood aside to let his roommate enter the room. "Sorry, I...I was...um...thinking..." Lance whispered, trying to explain his slowness in answering the door.

"Get out of my way, I'm going to bed," was Joeys' reply, not even looking at his boyfriend. Walking over towards the single queen sized bed, Joey pulled back the covers, grumbling something under his breath as he lay down, letting the softness of the mattress conform to his body.

"Joey," Lance whispered, closing the door and locking it behind him. "At least change into something others then a t-shirt and jeans to sleep in?" Lance himself had changed into a wifebeater and a pair of boxer sometime while Joey had been gone.

Throwing the covers back, Joey ignored Lances' request and stormed towards the bathroom to relieve himself of the liquior. When he finally reemerged from the bathroom, he headed right back for bed, in the same clothes.

Giving up, Lance walked over to Joeys' side of the bed and slowly pulled back the covers, his hands carefully undoing the buttons to the shirt. "Come on Joey, you're changing into something that will be easier to replace if you puck all over it. I don't think WEG would fancy our throwing away a 150 shirt..."

"Leave me alone," Joey replied, turning over and slapping Lance out of the way.

Attempting to role Joey back over, Lance wouldn't give up. "No, come on Joey! God, Justin was easier to change then you are." Only after he said the last statement did Lance regret it.

As his temper started to flare again, the drunk one started to get up and leave the room again, but he couldn't make it past the foot of the bed. "Are you implying that I'm a baby and Justin is an easier baby to take care of?"

"No Joey, that's not what I meant! What I meant was that when I had to get Justin out of his clothes, he didn't put up much of a fight."

"You mean your eyes have been on him only the way they should be on me?"

Shaking his head and taking a step back, Lance replied, "N...no Joey...I didn't...didn't mean that either...what I meant to say was...was..." By now, he had backed himself into a wall, the bed on one side, another wall on the other, Joey in front of him. He couldn't get past Joey, even in his drunken state, the bed was too soft to even try and run across, and with a wall blocking him, there was no where for the blond to go.

Taking a few steps towards the frightened man, Joeys' eyes were locked on him, his hand pulled back ready to strike. Only when he was a 3 of 4 steps from Lance did Joey fall over onto his face, the liquior finally starting to kick in; sending Joey into unconciousness.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Lance looked down at his drunk boyfriend laying in front of him. Sliding down the wall, Lance finally let the second round of tears fall. He was safe from Joeys' wrath, at least for the time being. 'Why do I put up with this? Why do I let him treat me this way? Why don't I just leave him?'

The questions came at Lance from every inch of his mind. And the answer was always the same. "Because I love him," he whisped to himself finally.

-----

The next morning, Lance woke up in the same place he had fallen asleep in, his back against the wall, his knees drawn up, Joey still out cold on the floor. Sighing quietly, as not to wake him up, Lance leaned forward and started crawling on his hands and knees towards Joey, who during the night had rolled over onto his back, and gently kissed his lips. He couldn't stay mad at Joey for long, no matter how much he tried.

Joey stirred quietly, half waking up, before he mumbled, "Good morning," and was right back asleep before Lance could say anything.

Smiling gently, Lance put his weight on his right shoulder, only to have a surge of pain shoot through his body. Wincing and biting back a shout, he gritted his teeth and waited for the pain to subside. When it finally did, Lance stood and walked over into the bathroom to shower and change, getting ready for the day out with Justin.

When Joey heard the sound of running water coming from the next room, he slowly found the strength to sit up. Shaking his head clear of the drunken fog that now covered the surface of his mind, he seemingly forgot the prior nights' events. Standing slowly, grabbing for the bed to support himself, he walked over to the bathroom door on shaky legs. Sticking his head in the steamed filled room, he shouted over the running water, "I'm going down to the resturaunt to grab us something to eat, do you want anything?"

"It's okay, I'm not hungry," Lance replied, lathering up a washcloth with soap then proceeding to cover his arms and chest in the sudsy lather.

Shrugging to himself, Joey answered, "Okay fine, I'll just eat down in the resturant. I'll be back up in a few minutes. Don't go anywhere until I get back."

"I'll try and be here when you get back, but I have that charity thing to do today with Justin, so I might not be here. Is that okay with you?" Lance asked, looking down at his right shoulder as he gingerly ran the washcloth over the purple outline.

"I said you're not going to that," was Joeys' answer. Before Lance could reply, Joey had slammed the door and was gone out into the hallway.

Shaking his head, Lance finished his shower in silence. Rinsing his body of the cleansing lather, he grabbed a cotton towel from the rack and wrapped it around his waist, stepping out into the steam filled room, then out into the main part of the hotel room. Walking over to his suitcase, he pulled out a pair of boxer briefs, a tight wifebeater, gray shirt, and black leather jeans, with a matching leather jacket.

-----

As Joey sat down at the restaraunt bar, he ordered a cup of black, straight coffee in hopes that it would help with his massive hangover. Looking through blurry eyes, he tried to focus them on the menu he held in his hands.

"Hi," the waitress smiled, walking over to him, notepad in hand. "What can I get you for breakfast today?"

Scanning the menu one last time, Joey replied, "Give me an Italian omelet for starters. Then a side of hashbrowns and um...throw in some sausage."

Nodding as she was writing the order down, the waitress answered, "Can do sir. It'll be a few minutes. Can I get you another cup of coffee while you wait? Or some toast perhaps?"

"Toast is too scratchy on my throat," Joey replied. "Got any english  muffins? And yes, another cup of coffee would be great." Flashing her a smile, he remembered to add, "Thanks."

"Of course sir. I'll be right back with your english muffins and coffee. Decaf right?"

"At this point in time, I don't care."

With another nod and a brillant smile, the waitress walked away and left Joey alone with his thoughts.

When the waitress was gone, Joey sat there, thinking about what an idiot Lance could be sometimes and how mad it made him to have to question that Lance actually did love and care for him with how angry he got him at times.

A few minutes later, the waitress returned, a plate with english muffins in one hand, the pot of decaf coffee in the other. Setting the plate down in front of Joey, she poured the coffee gently into the cup, slowly as not to splatter the hot liquid on Joey. "Here you go sir. Your order should be out in just a few more minutes. Is there anything else I can get you?"

Thinking to himself, "Yeah, get me my boyfriend and fix it so he works right." But instead, he flashed the waitress another winning smile and answered, "No thank you. I think that'll be it..."

Returning the smile, she nodded. "Alright sir. If you need anything else, just let me know and I'll get it for you. By the way, I'm Jamie."

By that time, Joey was lost in his thoughts and didn't hear her. He just waved his hand at her and mumbled, "Uh huh."

Walking away, Jamie went about seating another couple a few seats away from Joey. Two men, friends probably. One with brown hair and brown eyes; the other with blond hair and green eyes. Laughter rang from the booth they sat at a few seconds later.

Looking over his shoulder to vaguely see them, Joey had to do a double take, thinking it was Lance. Jumping out of his seat, he yelled "LANCE I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU DONT LEAVE THE ROOM..." When he got there, he grabbed the blonde, turning him to face him, only it wasn't Lance. "Oh I'm sorry," Joey apologized, walking back to his seat in a hurry.

"Is there something wrong?" Jamie asked, walking over to Joeys' table, his order in her hand.

"No. I thought that was my boyfriend but I made a simple mistake."
When Love Hurts
(c)Baby B and Amber Storm
2001

Chapter 1

Raising an eyebrow at his words, Jamie asked, "Boyfriend?"

Getting defensive, Joey answered, "Yeah, I have a boyfriend. Got a problem with it?"

Shaking her head, Jamie quickly apologized. "No, I'm sorry, it's none of my business. I didn't mean to pry."

"Well then, why were you?" he asked, for once controling his temper. The public didn't need to see an outburst from a memeber of Nsync.

"I didn't mean to.  I do apologize sir."

Forgetting all about Lance, who was suppose to be waiting for him, Joey started to get flirtatious. "That's quiet alright miss. Why? Were you interested?"

It felt as if an entire load of bricks had been lifted from Jamies' shoulders. Breathing an unnoticed sigh of reliefe, she turned and went back to her job. Calling over her shoulder, "Maybe..."

Calling back to her, Joey said, "You women never know what you want..." and started to eat his breakfast.