Chapter 28

Inner Reflection | home

"Lance?" Lance shook himself out of his rest when he heard someone whisper his name.

"What?" he asked sluggishly.

"I'm sorry...I woke you up...I didn't mean to...I'll just go back to..."

"JC?" Lance asked, finally realizing who was rambling in the doorway.

"I'm just gonna go back and try..."

Lance sighed. "You woke me up, might as well come in."

"Don't apologize...now what are you doing up at..." Lance squinted. "4:30AM?"

"I couldn't sleep," JC said quietly.

Lance smiled in spite of himself. JC sounded like a little kid. He didn't think it would be appropriate to make a comment about the "King of Sleep" in this situation, so he held his tongue. He sat up. "Come here and sit." JC made his way over to the bed. He sat down in silence and stared at Lance. "Why couldn't you sleep?" Lance asked.

"I've been thinking," JC said, looking down. "And...umm..." he glanced quickly at Lance, who was giving all his attention. "IthinkyouwererightandIthinkI'mgaybecauseIcan'tchangewhoIam."

Lance blinked. "What?"

JC sighed. "I think you were right and I thinkI'mgaybecauseIcan'tjustchange," he mumbled.

Lance leaned forward. "Run that by me one more time," he said.

JC sighed in frustration. "It's hard enough as it is!"

"What is? JC, I can't talk to you if I have no idea what you're saying!"

"I said..." but Lance interrupted him.

"I said that you were right, and I think that...I think I'm gay," he whispered.

"What do you mean?" JC demanded. "I just tell you something that important to me, and all you can say is..."

Lance winced. "I didn't mean it like that...what I meant was that I'm not gonna judge you, JC. I'm gay too, remember?"

"Yeah, but it's hard to admit it out loud..." JC said.

"Oh, I know that one," Lance said with an ironic grin.

"Can you tell me?" JC asked quietly.

"Tell you what?" Lance asked.

"What happened when you came out."

Lance cringed and he was glad for the darkness so JC couldn't see the pain. "Will it make you feel better?" he asked. JC bit his lip and silently nodded. Lance shifted his position and crossed his legs, leaning against the headboard. "There's not much to tell," he started. "You've heard most of it already. One day I was talking to my fr...ex-friend Sarah, and I kind of confided in her that I wasn't really interested in girls. I was scared to death, JC. But she didn't say she hated me, much to my surprise...religious little town we lived in," he said wryly. "In fact, she even said she'd never tell a soul. Never tell a soul my ass," he said, unaware that a tear had slipped down his cheek.

"What happened?" JC whispered.

Lance closed his eyes and sucked his lips into his mouth before exhaling. "She told my parents. Told them...well...I don't know what she told them, but...well...they didn't like it and I got kicked out of my parent's house."

"Ran away," Lance shrugged.

JC finally looked up and saw tears coursing down Lance's cheeks. "Oh, God, Lance, I'm so sorry, I didn't want..."

Lance impatiently rubbed them out of his eyes. He didn't want to let JC see him cry, much less see what his tears looked like. "It's fine, really," he said. "It happened a long time ago."

"Listen, JC, don't let this deter you from telling your own family. My family was EXTREMELY religious, and if anything wasn't fitting the bible exactly, you'd be punished. Apparently, this was enough for them to consider me dead." Them and a bunch of others as well, he told himself.

"Lance...you don't..."

"JC, don't worry about me," he said with a small smile. "It was a long time ago. But right now...you should sleep. You look tired."

"I should sleep?" JC yawned. "What about you?"

"I don't need sleep," Lance said regally, holding his chin in the air. He held it for about five seconds before he started giggling. "Go to sleep, JC," he said, calming down.

"Kay," JC muttered, falling down.

"JC! Aw man..." he sighed and dragged his friend the rest of the way onto the bed. JC ended up in an uncomfortable position on Lance's lap. Lance shifted, silently chuckling at JC's ability to sleep through his maneuverings. He zoned out, going deep into thought, and absentmindedly started stroking JC's hair.

JC shifted after about a half hour, and Lance was able to move. He quietly stepped off the bed and closed his eyes. Concentrating, he waited for the familiar glow to surround him. He looked over at JC to make sure he was still sleeping, then disappeared. He made his nightly rounds this way, walking through the walls and making sure they were all right. He wanted to get back to his room quickly tonight though, because JC was in it.

"And I'll be damned if I give up my bed for Sleepy Spice," he commented, the glow disappearing. He briefly considered shoving him off the bed, but decided that wouldn't be very angelic of him. In the end, he decided to let JC have the bed, he was the one that needed sleep anyway. Settling down in the uncomfortable chair, he closed his eyes and zoned out again. He had been out of it for quite some time when he heard JC calling his name.

"Lance?" Lance decided feigning sleep would be the best way to go here. JC sat up slowly, eyes blurry with sleep. "Lance?" he looked around and his eyes zeroed in on the figure in the chair. He blinked. "He didn't have to give up his bed," he muttered to himself. He shook himself awake and walked over to where Lance was. He picked his friend up and brought him over to the bed. He stood for a second, then decided against going to his room, because that would take too much energy. He was about to go over to the chair, when Lance rolled over, seemingly in sleep, freeing up space on the double bed. JC shrugged, and collapsed, falling back asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He unconsciously snuggled closer to the warm body next to him.

Lance dialed Joey's number. "Joey, time to get up!" he sing-songed into the phone.

"Dammit, I was hoping you'd forget."

"Stop being so damn cheerful."

Lance shrugged and dialed the next number. "Chris, get your butt up," he said.

"Interview, noon, Big Poppa's orders, remember?"

Lance dialed a third number. "Morning Sunshine," he said cheerfully.

He got growl in response.

"I'm fine, thanks, but seriously, you have to get up now."

"Really? Wow, me too! But there's an interview today, remember?"

"What would your mamma say to that, J? Get your butt up right now before I call her!"

"Today's gonna be a good day!" Lance said.

"Are you always this damn cheerful?"

"Only after a good conversation with Justin," Lance said, nodding.

JC's brow furrowed. "But he doesn't talk."

"Oh, I know THAT, but there were only two growls and one string of cuss words," he said solemnly.

JC shook his head. "You're crazy."

"But you still love me!" Lance said cheerfully.

"Yup." Lance flashed him a cheesy grin and walked out to make sure the rest of them were up. Justin's room was first.

Five minutes later, Lance ran out of the room, followed by a shoe. "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Sheesh." Lance walked into Chris' room, but left with much the same result. "You guys have no respect...JOEY! At least the other two were awake!" He walked into Joey's room, seeing him still sleeping on the bed.

"Lemme alone," Joey groaned.

"Aw, did you have too much to drink? Poor thing."

"Shut up and leave me alone."

"What crawled up your ass and died? Come on, Joe, get up and get ready."

"I don't have to listen to you."

"Joey, it's an interview, and I'm not the one giving the order. It's Lou."

"I still don't have to get up because you're telling me to."

"Joey, it's an interview, and what the hell are you talking about?"

"I think you know. I just realized that I can honestly say I know something about you that no one else knows."

Lance froze. "You wouldn't...You can't just..."

"I can, and you can't stop me if I want to."

"You're right, I can't, but...I can't...I trusted you, Joey! That's blackmail!"

"Oh well. Too bad. I have something on you, Lance. And we don't want what you really are to get out, now do we?"


	Inner Reflection \| home back to Sent From Above Chapter 28 "Lance?" Lance shook himself out of his rest when he heard someone whisper his name. "What?" he asked sluggishly. "I'm sorry...I woke you up...I didn't mean to...I'll just go back to..." "JC?" Lance asked, finally realizing who was rambling in the doorway. "I'm just gonna go back and try..." "JC, come in." "What?" Lance sighed. "You woke me up, might as well come in." "Sorry." "Don't apologize...now what are you doing up at..." Lance squinted. "4:30AM?" "I couldn't sleep," JC said quietly. Lance smiled in spite of himself. JC sounded like a little kid. He didn't think it would be appropriate to make a comment about the "King of Sleep" in this situation, so he held his tongue. He sat up. "Come here and sit." JC made his way over to the bed. He sat down in silence and stared at Lance. "Why couldn't you sleep?" Lance asked. "I've been thinking," JC said, looking down. "And...umm..." he glanced quickly at Lance, who was giving all his attention. "IthinkyouwererightandIthinkI'mgaybecauseIcan'tchangewhoIam." Lance blinked. "What?" JC sighed. "I think you were right and I thinkI'mgaybecauseIcan'tjustchange," he mumbled. Lance leaned forward. "Run that by me one more time," he said. JC sighed in frustration. "It's hard enough as it is!" "What is? JC, I can't talk to you if I have no idea what you're saying!" "I said..." but Lance interrupted him. "Slowly." "I said that you were right, and I think that...I think I'm gay," he whispered. "Is that all?" "What do you mean?" JC demanded. "I just tell you something that important to me, and all you can say is..." Lance winced. "I didn't mean it like that...what I meant was that I'm not gonna judge you, JC. I'm gay too, remember?" "Yeah, but it's hard to admit it out loud..." JC said. "Oh, I know that one," Lance said with an ironic grin. "Can you tell me?" JC asked quietly. "Tell you what?" Lance asked. "What happened when you came out." Lance cringed and he was glad for the darkness so JC couldn't see the pain. "Will it make you feel better?" he asked. JC bit his lip and silently nodded. Lance shifted his position and crossed his legs, leaning against the headboard. "There's not much to tell," he started. "You've heard most of it already. One day I was talking to my fr...ex-friend Sarah, and I kind of confided in her that I wasn't really interested in girls. I was scared to death, JC. But she didn't say she hated me, much to my surprise...religious little town we lived in," he said wryly. "In fact, she even said she'd never tell a soul. Never tell a soul my ass," he said, unaware that a tear had slipped down his cheek. "What happened?" JC whispered. Lance closed his eyes and sucked his lips into his mouth before exhaling. "She told my parents. Told them...well...I don't know what she told them, but...well...they didn't like it and I got kicked out of my parent's house." "What'd you do?" "Ran away," Lance shrugged. JC finally looked up and saw tears coursing down Lance's cheeks. "Oh, God, Lance, I'm so sorry, I didn't want..." Lance impatiently rubbed them out of his eyes. He didn't want to let JC see him cry, much less see what his tears looked like. "It's fine, really," he said. "It happened a long time ago." "Yeah, but..." "Listen, JC, don't let this deter you from telling your own family. My family was EXTREMELY religious, and if anything wasn't fitting the bible exactly, you'd be punished. Apparently, this was enough for them to consider me dead." Them and a bunch of others as well, he told himself. "Lance...you don't..." "JC, don't worry about me," he said with a small smile. "It was a long time ago. But right now...you should sleep. You look tired." "I should sleep?" JC yawned. "What about you?" "I don't need sleep," Lance said regally, holding his chin in the air. He held it for about five seconds before he started giggling. "Go to sleep, JC," he said, calming down. "Kay," JC muttered, falling down. "JC! Aw man..." he sighed and dragged his friend the rest of the way onto the bed. JC ended up in an uncomfortable position on Lance's lap. Lance shifted, silently chuckling at JC's ability to sleep through his maneuverings. He zoned out, going deep into thought, and absentmindedly started stroking JC's hair. JC shifted after about a half hour, and Lance was able to move. He quietly stepped off the bed and closed his eyes. Concentrating, he waited for the familiar glow to surround him. He looked over at JC to make sure he was still sleeping, then disappeared. He made his nightly rounds this way, walking through the walls and making sure they were all right. He wanted to get back to his room quickly tonight though, because JC was in it. "And I'll be damned if I give up my bed for Sleepy Spice," he commented, the glow disappearing. He briefly considered shoving him off the bed, but decided that wouldn't be very angelic of him. In the end, he decided to let JC have the bed, he was the one that needed sleep anyway. Settling down in the uncomfortable chair, he closed his eyes and zoned out again. He had been out of it for quite some time when he heard JC calling his name. "Lance?" Lance decided feigning sleep would be the best way to go here. JC sat up slowly, eyes blurry with sleep. "Lance?" he looked around and his eyes zeroed in on the figure in the chair. He blinked. "He didn't have to give up his bed," he muttered to himself. He shook himself awake and walked over to where Lance was. He picked his friend up and brought him over to the bed. He stood for a second, then decided against going to his room, because that would take too much energy. He was about to go over to the chair, when Lance rolled over, seemingly in sleep, freeing up space on the double bed. JC shrugged, and collapsed, falling back asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He unconsciously snuggled closer to the warm body next to him. Lance dialed Joey's number. "Joey, time to get up!" he sing-songed into the phone. "Dammit, I was hoping you'd forget." "I never forget!" "Stop being so damn cheerful." Click. Lance shrugged and dialed the next number. "Chris, get your butt up," he said. "Why?" "Cuz I said so." "Why?" "Interview, noon, Big Poppa's orders, remember?" "Bite me." Click. Lance dialed a third number. "Morning Sunshine," he said cheerfully. He got growl in response. "I'm fine, thanks, but seriously, you have to get up now." Another growl. "Really? Wow, me too! But there's an interview today, remember?" [Expletive] "What would your mamma say to that, J? Get your butt up right now before I call her!" Click. "Today's gonna be a good day!" Lance said. "What the hell?" "Morning JC!" "Are you always this damn cheerful?" "Only after a good conversation with Justin," Lance said, nodding. JC's brow furrowed. "But he doesn't talk." "Oh, I know THAT, but there were only two growls and one string of cuss words," he said solemnly. JC shook his head. "You're crazy." "But you still love me!" Lance said cheerfully. "Yup." Lance flashed him a cheesy grin and walked out to make sure the rest of them were up. Justin's room was first. Five minutes later, Lance ran out of the room, followed by a shoe. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" "Sheesh." Lance walked into Chris' room, but left with much the same result. "You guys have no respect...JOEY! At least the other two were awake!" He walked into Joey's room, seeing him still sleeping on the bed. "Lemme alone," Joey groaned. "Aw, did you have too much to drink? Poor thing." "Shut up and leave me alone." "What crawled up your ass and died? Come on, Joe, get up and get ready." "I don't have to listen to you." "Joey, it's an interview, and I'm not the one giving the order. It's Lou." "I still don't have to get up because you're telling me to." "Joey, it's an interview, and what the hell are you talking about?" "I think you know. I just realized that I can honestly say I know something about you that no one else knows." Lance froze. "You wouldn't...You can't just..." "I can, and you can't stop me if I want to." "You're right, I can't, but...I can't...I trusted you, Joey! That's blackmail!" "Oh well. Too bad. I have something on you, Lance. And we don't want what you really are to get out, now do we?"