Chapter 18

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Chapter 18

Lance sat in silence. Joey looked at him, afraid that maybe he'd said something wrong. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, Lance patted the seat next to him. Joey slowly walked over to him and sat down. He handed Lance the other glass of water, and Lance gladly accepted it. He took a sip. Joey waited patiently for him to begin.

"This is gonna be hard," he sighed. "So you're gonna have to bear with me." Joey nodded. "You were right. The bullet didn't miss me. It went through me." Joey looked up. When he'd first seen it, he'd been able to block it out, think maybe he'd been imagining it. But to have Lance confirm it scared the hell out of him.

"Wha..." he swallowed. "What do you mean?"

Lance shrugged. "Just what I said. It went through my body without doing any damage."

"What are you?"

"Not human," Lance said. Joey's eyes widened in fear. Lance looked over and smiled. "Relax," he said. "I'm not going to hurt you...if I'd wanted to, I've had three years, right? Besides, I'm not anything bad." Some of the fear left Joey's face, but he remained silent. "But first...Before I tell you anything more...you have to swear to me that you will NEVER repeat this to anyone other than me. No one."

Joey nodded. "Of course not."

"I'm serious, Joey."

Joey looked and saw how serious Lance really was. "I swear, I won't tell a living soul."

Lance chuckled. "Interesting choice of words, Joey." Joey looked at him, stricken. "Calm down, Joey," Lance said. "I told you already, I won't hurt you. In fact, hurting you is the last thing on my mind."

"Well, what are you?" Joey asked again. "You're not alive, are you?"

Lance looked at Joey and saw how uneasy he really was. "First I wanna thank you for being so cool about this," he said. "You don't know how much that means to me...I know if I'd been in the same position...I wouldn't be handling it so well. But to answer your question, no, I'm not alive." He heard Joey gasp. "I've been dead for quite a few years, actually."

"So you're a ghost?"

Lance smiled. "Not exactly. Tell me something, Joey, can I see that feather you're always carrying around?"

Joey's eyes widened. "How did you...how did you know I..." he cut himself off, though, and wordlessly reached into his pocket, and handed it to Lance. Lance smoothed it out and smiled at it. "How did you know I had that?" Joey asked quietly.

"You mean you don't remember, Joey? That night, you looking into your mirror, about to make the last mistake of your life...Lydia had just dumped you...you had pills in your hand? Don't you remember?" Joey had a shocked expression on his face. He'd never told anyone any of this before. "What happened next, Joey?" Lance asked gently.

Joey was silent. "There was someone else in the mirror," he finally said, voice trembling. "He didn't want me to do it." He looked into Lance's eyes and gasped. "It was you, wasn't it? It was you." Lance nodded. "But...but why...why..."

"Don't you get it, Joey? I know more about you than you probably know about yourself. I was there for every smile, every tear, every little accident that brought you to the emergency room, you being a werewolf at Universal, all the girls, the day you overslept on the Allstate competition thing -- that was for a reason, by the way -- and so on. I've been watching you since the day you were born, Joey."

"So you...you're..."

"Your guardian angel," Lance said, raising his arms to the side, palms up, and letting them fall back down.

"So all the times..."

"All the times you thought someone was behind you...chances are, it was me," Lance said. "Watching you from up there," he gestured upwards, "can get a little boring."

"What about when I felt a hand on my shoulder?"

"That was me too, just reminding you that I was still there."

"But why?"

"That's what I was assigned to do," he said simply. "I didn't have to let you have a happy life, make all the right choices, but I want to. I wanted you to have the life I never had," Lance said.

"But...but why are you here? Why can I see you?"

"You can all see me," Lance laughed. "I'm in human form right now...in other words, I breathe, I have organs, but I can't die. Anything life threatening, like the bullet, leaves me fine. Actually, it's confusing, because they keep changing it on me. I never got bruises before, but I get them now..." he stopped at the bewildered expression on Joey's face. "Anyways...Why I'm here?" Joey nodded. "For this," he said.

"The group?"

"Yeah. And the fact that one of you guys is gay...they haven't told me who, but one of you is, and is going to have a little bit of trouble dealing with it."

Something occurred to Joey. "So wait...you've been lying to us this whole time?" he accused.

Lance looked at him in shock. "Nn...no. Not entirely. But I had to, you see."

Joey waited for him to continue. "You had to?"

"Well I couldn't exactly hop into the airport yelling, 'Hey guys! I'm an angel! I hope that's not a problem!'"

"Good point. But what's true?"

"Well, for one, I'm most certainly not eighteen years old."

"How old are you, then?"

"Um...well...I've been dead for...then add that to...I'm about 136 years old."

"You're WHAT?!"

"136...if you add the amount of time I've been dead to the number of years I was alive, you'll see that I've been around for 136 years."

"How long...how long have you been...ya know..."

"Dead?"

"Yeah."

"115. It'll be 116 in August."

"You've been dead for a hundred and fifteen years?"

"Uh huh," Lance nodded.

"So that means...when you died, you were..."

"Twenty-one," Lance said grimly.

"You were twenty-one?!?"

"Yeah."

"Holy shit."

"Mmmhmm."

Joey decided to change the subject, he could see that Lance was a little upset by it. "So what about you being gay?"

"Oh, all too true," Lance said.

"Getting beaten up?"

"True."

"Disowned?"

"True."

"Poofu?"

"That was ALL FAKE!" Lance said. "They made that one up! They think they're real funny up there."

"Huh?"

"They made it up so I'd have a first job," he sighed. "Nikolas probably did. Maybe they were mad at the prank I'd pulled."

"What'd you do?"

"That time? I don't even know. There were so many."

"You're a prankster?"

"Hard to believe, ain't it? They made me tone it down to come down here...apparently, it's hard enough up there without me freaking you guys down here out."

"Aww, that sucks."

"They never said anything about me helping you out," Lance grinned. Joey smiled.

"Your birthday?"

"Same, except for the year. I wasn't born May 4th, 1979, I was born May 4th, 1861. Right in the beginning of the Civil War."

"Woah."

"Yeah, it was a little tense."

"Little?"

"Okay, a lot," Lance grinned.

"What about your name?"

"That's the same," Lance said. "So are my parents."

"So they really disowned you when you were fourteen?"

Lance smiled bitterly. "Yeah they did."

"How did they find out?" Lance's expression darkened. "You don't have to tell me," Joey said quickly. "You don't really have any obligation..."

"Actually," Lance said. "I do, kind of. But anyway, you deserve to hear it. My best friend back then was a girl named Sarah. We were the same age and did everything together...when we were fourteen, she went through puberty, I guess, and became very beautiful. A true southern belle," he said with a smile.

"I think our parents wanted us to get married, eventually. We were talking one day...and I'd been noticing this, that though she was beautiful, she didn't interest me. No one did. But damn, she was pretty. Long blonde hair, dark brown eyes..." he smiled ruefully. "One day, like I said, we were talking, and I confessed to her that..." his eyes darkened and took on a far away look. "That I'd noticed I didn't really like girls. That guys kind of interested me a little. I didn't cry or anything, because you just didn't DO that, ya know? Not back then." Joey nodded. "But I told her that I was scared to death and I thought I was a sinner and all these horrible things. I didn't want to lose her friendship. To my surprise, she didn't say she hated me or anything. She was the only one I ever told." He sighed. "She promised that she wouldn't tell anyone. The next day, my parents told me that they wanted to talk to me. That was the last time I ever talked to them. Sarah betrayed me, Joey," he said, a single tear sliding down his cheek.

Joey pulled Lance into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Lance," he said.

"Don't be," Lance sighed, wiping his eye. He pulled back. "What else do you wanna know?"

"Um..." Joey stopped, unsure if he should ask anymore questions.

"Go ahead, I'm fine," Lance said.

Joey really wanted to know how he died at such a young age, but didn't want to say it yet. "Why are you cold to everyone but me?" he asked instead.

Lance smiled. "Because I'm dead. You don't think I'm this pale by nature either, do you?"

Joey grinned. "But you're not cold to me."

"Because I'm your angel."


	Inner Reflection \| home back to Sent From Above Chapter 18 Lance sat in silence. Joey looked at him, afraid that maybe he'd said something wrong. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, Lance patted the seat next to him. Joey slowly walked over to him and sat down. He handed Lance the other glass of water, and Lance gladly accepted it. He took a sip. Joey waited patiently for him to begin. "This is gonna be hard," he sighed. "So you're gonna have to bear with me." Joey nodded. "You were right. The bullet didn't miss me. It went through me." Joey looked up. When he'd first seen it, he'd been able to block it out, think maybe he'd been imagining it. But to have Lance confirm it scared the hell out of him. "Wha..." he swallowed. "What do you mean?" Lance shrugged. "Just what I said. It went through my body without doing any damage." "What are you?" "Not human," Lance said. Joey's eyes widened in fear. Lance looked over and smiled. "Relax," he said. "I'm not going to hurt you...if I'd wanted to, I've had three years, right? Besides, I'm not anything bad." Some of the fear left Joey's face, but he remained silent. "But first...Before I tell you anything more...you have to swear to me that you will NEVER repeat this to anyone other than me. No one." Joey nodded. "Of course not." "I'm serious, Joey." Joey looked and saw how serious Lance really was. "I swear, I won't tell a living soul." Lance chuckled. "Interesting choice of words, Joey." Joey looked at him, stricken. "Calm down, Joey," Lance said. "I told you already, I won't hurt you. In fact, hurting you is the last thing on my mind." "Well, what are you?" Joey asked again. "You're not alive, are you?" Lance looked at Joey and saw how uneasy he really was. "First I wanna thank you for being so cool about this," he said. "You don't know how much that means to me...I know if I'd been in the same position...I wouldn't be handling it so well. But to answer your question, no, I'm not alive." He heard Joey gasp. "I've been dead for quite a few years, actually." "So you're a ghost?" Lance smiled. "Not exactly. Tell me something, Joey, can I see that feather you're always carrying around?" Joey's eyes widened. "How did you...how did you know I..." he cut himself off, though, and wordlessly reached into his pocket, and handed it to Lance. Lance smoothed it out and smiled at it. "How did you know I had that?" Joey asked quietly. "You mean you don't remember, Joey? That night, you looking into your mirror, about to make the last mistake of your life...Lydia had just dumped you...you had pills in your hand? Don't you remember?" Joey had a shocked expression on his face. He'd never told anyone any of this before. "What happened next, Joey?" Lance asked gently. Joey was silent. "There was someone else in the mirror," he finally said, voice trembling. "He didn't want me to do it." He looked into Lance's eyes and gasped. "It was you, wasn't it? It was you." Lance nodded. "But...but why...why..." "Don't you get it, Joey? I know more about you than you probably know about yourself. I was there for every smile, every tear, every little accident that brought you to the emergency room, you being a werewolf at Universal, all the girls, the day you overslept on the Allstate competition thing -- that was for a reason, by the way -- and so on. I've been watching you since the day you were born, Joey." "So you...you're..." "Your guardian angel," Lance said, raising his arms to the side, palms up, and letting them fall back down. "So all the times..." "All the times you thought someone was behind you...chances are, it was me," Lance said. "Watching you from up there," he gestured upwards, "can get a little boring." "What about when I felt a hand on my shoulder?" "That was me too, just reminding you that I was still there." "But why?" "That's what I was assigned to do," he said simply. "I didn't have to let you have a happy life, make all the right choices, but I want to. I wanted you to have the life I never had," Lance said. "But...but why are you here? Why can I see you?" "You can all see me," Lance laughed. "I'm in human form right now...in other words, I breathe, I have organs, but I can't die. Anything life threatening, like the bullet, leaves me fine. Actually, it's confusing, because they keep changing it on me. I never got bruises before, but I get them now..." he stopped at the bewildered expression on Joey's face. "Anyways...Why I'm here?" Joey nodded. "For this," he said. "The group?" "Yeah. And the fact that one of you guys is gay...they haven't told me who, but one of you is, and is going to have a little bit of trouble dealing with it." Something occurred to Joey. "So wait...you've been lying to us this whole time?" he accused. Lance looked at him in shock. "Nn...no. Not entirely. But I had to, you see." Joey waited for him to continue. "You had to?" "Well I couldn't exactly hop into the airport yelling, 'Hey guys! I'm an angel! I hope that's not a problem!'" "Good point. But what's true?" "Well, for one, I'm most certainly not eighteen years old." "How old are you, then?" "Um...well...I've been dead for...then add that to...I'm about 136 years old." "You're WHAT?!" "136...if you add the amount of time I've been dead to the number of years I was alive, you'll see that I've been around for 136 years." "How long...how long have you been...ya know..." "Dead?" "Yeah." "115. It'll be 116 in August." "You've been dead for a hundred and fifteen years?" "Uh huh," Lance nodded. "So that means...when you died, you were..." "Twenty-one," Lance said grimly. "You were twenty-one?!?" "Yeah." "Holy shit." "Mmmhmm." Joey decided to change the subject, he could see that Lance was a little upset by it. "So what about you being gay?" "Oh, all too true," Lance said. "Getting beaten up?" "True." "Disowned?" "True." "Poofu?" "That was ALL FAKE!" Lance said. "They made that one up! They think they're real funny up there." "Huh?" "They made it up so I'd have a first job," he sighed. "Nikolas probably did. Maybe they were mad at the prank I'd pulled." "What'd you do?" "That time? I don't even know. There were so many." "You're a prankster?" "Hard to believe, ain't it? They made me tone it down to come down here...apparently, it's hard enough up there without me freaking you guys down here out." "Aww, that sucks." "They never said anything about me helping you out," Lance grinned. Joey smiled. "Your birthday?" "Same, except for the year. I wasn't born May 4th, 1979, I was born May 4th, 1861. Right in the beginning of the Civil War." "Woah." "Yeah, it was a little tense." "Little?" "Okay, a lot," Lance grinned. "What about your name?" "That's the same," Lance said. "So are my parents." "So they really disowned you when you were fourteen?" Lance smiled bitterly. "Yeah they did." "How did they find out?" Lance's expression darkened. "You don't have to tell me," Joey said quickly. "You don't really have any obligation..." "Actually," Lance said. "I do, kind of. But anyway, you deserve to hear it. My best friend back then was a girl named Sarah. We were the same age and did everything together...when we were fourteen, she went through puberty, I guess, and became very beautiful. A true southern belle," he said with a smile. "I think our parents wanted us to get married, eventually. We were talking one day...and I'd been noticing this, that though she was beautiful, she didn't interest me. No one did. But damn, she was pretty. Long blonde hair, dark brown eyes..." he smiled ruefully. "One day, like I said, we were talking, and I confessed to her that..." his eyes darkened and took on a far away look. "That I'd noticed I didn't really like girls. That guys kind of interested me a little. I didn't cry or anything, because you just didn't DO that, ya know? Not back then." Joey nodded. "But I told her that I was scared to death and I thought I was a sinner and all these horrible things. I didn't want to lose her friendship. To my surprise, she didn't say she hated me or anything. She was the only one I ever told." He sighed. "She promised that she wouldn't tell anyone. The next day, my parents told me that they wanted to talk to me. That was the last time I ever talked to them. Sarah betrayed me, Joey," he said, a single tear sliding down his cheek. Joey pulled Lance into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Lance," he said. "Don't be," Lance sighed, wiping his eye. He pulled back. "What else do you wanna know?" "Um..." Joey stopped, unsure if he should ask anymore questions. "Go ahead, I'm fine," Lance said. Joey really wanted to know how he died at such a young age, but didn't want to say it yet. "Why are you cold to everyone but me?" he asked instead. Lance smiled. "Because I'm dead. You don't think I'm this pale by nature either, do you?" Joey grinned. "But you're not cold to me." "Because I'm your angel."