Chapter 24

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Chapter 24

IN TRUE LOVE THE SMALLEST DISTANCE IS TOO GREAT, AND THE GREATEST DISTANCE CAN BE BRIDGED.

*HANS NOUWENS

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR - BRIDGES CROSSED

The words hung in the air between them.

Lance caught his breath and stared at JC. He stared at him, trying to decide if he was serious, if he really did love him, if he really did mean what he said, or if he was just going to walk out that door again.

JC held Lance's gaze, not wanting to look away, not wanting to break the simple gesture of eye contact. He put everything he had into that gaze, hoping Lance could see, could feel, the love that JC finally discovered. The love that JC could finally admit to.

“Say it again,” Lance whispered.

JC smiled softly and squeezed Lance's hands. “I love you.”

Lance felt tears fill his eyes as he watched JC's lips form the words. This was it. This is what he had been waiting for. His eyes moved back to JC's, noticing the way they were squinted shut slightly, the way the corners crinkled up, both a result of the smile he was unable to keep off his face. Lance saw tears leave JC's eyes, leaking from the corners and running over his chiseled features. He followed the path of a tear as it dripped off JC's chin and fell onto their hands. He watched as JC unconsciously moved his thumb over the tear, rubbing it into Lance's skin, and continuing to move his thumb over the skin in an circular pattern long after the tear was gone.

Lance took his hands from JC's, immediately missing the warmth they provided. He slowly raised his hands to JC's face, cupping it between them, wiping his own thumbs over JC's cheeks. JC closed his eyes and drew in a shaky breath, leaning into Lance's touch.

“Josh,” Lance said softly, and JC opened his eyes. “Tell me you mean it. Tell me that I'm not going to give you everything I have just for you to walk out the door again. Tell me that you're not ever going to hurt me like you did. Tell me that you're not going to get scared when the going gets tough and leave me.” He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. When he opened them again, he looked JC right in the eyes. “Tell me you love me like I love you.”

Lance could see the slight hesitation in JC's eyes, and he felt his spirits fall. This wasn't going to work. He was just going to get hurt again, JC was going to tell him that he really didn't love him that much, he just thought he did. JC was going to say that it was too much, he needed more time, maybe he was just jumping to conclusions. Lance began to pull his hands away, away from JC, away from the contact.

JC saw the hope leave Lance's eyes, he felt him start to pull away. He jerked his hands up, stopping Lance's motion, moving his hands back to his face.

“No, Lance, I'm not hesitating because I don't love you, please believe me.” He could tell from the look in his eyes that Lance didn't believe a word he said. “Please, Lance,” he groaned in frustration and looked at the ground. When he looked up again, his eyes were sincere, all traces of hesitation gone. “I wasn't hesitating because I don't love you. I was hesitating because I'm scared I'm going to let you down again. I'm scared that I won't be everything you think I am, everything you want me to be.”

Lance shook his head, “You don't get it, JC. I don't love the man I think you could be, I love the man you are. As long as you don't turn your back on me again, you won't let me down.”

JC took Lance's hands in his, moving them from his face. He put Lance's hand over his heart, his own hand covering it. “I promise I won't leave you again. I promise I won't let you down, I won't run when the going gets tough. I promise to make this work.”

Lance shook his head, “I can't believe this is actually happening.”

JC inched closer to Lance, moving Lance's knees so they were on either side of him. He reached out and brushed the hair above Lance's ear, trailing his fingers behind his ear and down his neck. “Believe it,” he whispered.

Lance looked up and caught JC's eyes. In the darkness of the room, their eyes met, their breaths caught in their throats. Through the blackness they could make out the color of their souls, the color of their love, knowing it was reflected it the others' eyes.

Neither one of them knew who moved first. JC's hand came back to Lance's neck, Lance's hand found JC's free hand, squeezing it, tugging him closer. JC leaned forward the same time Lance did, meeting each other half way. Lance closed his eyes and JC took a second to scan his face, smiling slightly at the look of breathless anticipation on Lance's relaxed features.

JC closed his own eyes the split second their lips met, not wanting to miss a moment of Lance. Their kiss was tentative, wary, neither one of them knowing what it was going to be like. JC was the first to lean closer, moaning softly into Lance's mouth, pulling him closer with the hand that rested on Lance's neck. Lance pulled JC closer, moving to the floor to kneel next to JC.

JC licked gently at Lance's lips, and Lance immediately responded, opening his mouth to JC's, wrapping his arms around his neck, JC's free hand coming up to caress Lance's cheek. Their tongues tentatively met, the kiss slow, not building in intensity, but building in emotions. They took their time, each man knowing they had all the time in the world to take things further.

Lance knew this was what he had been waiting for. The months of secretly desiring JC paid off. The weeks, the days, the hours of wondering what could be was finally happening. The minutes wasted while they weren't speaking to each other were forgotten. All that mattered was that JC was here, in his arms, right where he belonged, and Lance wasn't going to ever let him go.

JC was amazed at the feel of Lance's lips on his. It was as if their mouths were made for each other. He had never felt anything like Lance's lips before, the combination of soft lips and rough skin, the slight taste of the soda Lance had been drinking, the musky scent of being so close to Lance. His past relationships with women were now a distant memory. Nothing mattered before Lance, it was as if his life was starting over again. Starting over with Lance at his side.

And there was no place in the world he would rather start.


	Inner Reflection \| home back to Secret Desires Chapter 24 IN TRUE LOVE THE SMALLEST DISTANCE IS TOO GREAT, AND THE GREATEST DISTANCE CAN BE BRIDGED. *HANS NOUWENS CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR - BRIDGES CROSSED The words hung in the air between them. Lance caught his breath and stared at JC. He stared at him, trying to decide if he was serious, if he really did love him, if he really did mean what he said, or if he was just going to walk out that door again. JC held Lance's gaze, not wanting to look away, not wanting to break the simple gesture of eye contact. He put everything he had into that gaze, hoping Lance could see, could feel, the love that JC finally discovered. The love that JC could finally admit to. “Say it again,” Lance whispered. JC smiled softly and squeezed Lance's hands. “I love you.” Lance felt tears fill his eyes as he watched JC's lips form the words. This was it. This is what he had been waiting for. His eyes moved back to JC's, noticing the way they were squinted shut slightly, the way the corners crinkled up, both a result of the smile he was unable to keep off his face. Lance saw tears leave JC's eyes, leaking from the corners and running over his chiseled features. He followed the path of a tear as it dripped off JC's chin and fell onto their hands. He watched as JC unconsciously moved his thumb over the tear, rubbing it into Lance's skin, and continuing to move his thumb over the skin in an circular pattern long after the tear was gone. Lance took his hands from JC's, immediately missing the warmth they provided. He slowly raised his hands to JC's face, cupping it between them, wiping his own thumbs over JC's cheeks. JC closed his eyes and drew in a shaky breath, leaning into Lance's touch. “Josh,” Lance said softly, and JC opened his eyes. “Tell me you mean it. Tell me that I'm not going to give you everything I have just for you to walk out the door again. Tell me that you're not ever going to hurt me like you did. Tell me that you're not going to get scared when the going gets tough and leave me.” He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. When he opened them again, he looked JC right in the eyes. “Tell me you love me like I love you.” Lance could see the slight hesitation in JC's eyes, and he felt his spirits fall. This wasn't going to work. He was just going to get hurt again, JC was going to tell him that he really didn't love him that much, he just thought he did. JC was going to say that it was too much, he needed more time, maybe he was just jumping to conclusions. Lance began to pull his hands away, away from JC, away from the contact. JC saw the hope leave Lance's eyes, he felt him start to pull away. He jerked his hands up, stopping Lance's motion, moving his hands back to his face. “No, Lance, I'm not hesitating because I don't love you, please believe me.” He could tell from the look in his eyes that Lance didn't believe a word he said. “Please, Lance,” he groaned in frustration and looked at the ground. When he looked up again, his eyes were sincere, all traces of hesitation gone. “I wasn't hesitating because I don't love you. I was hesitating because I'm scared I'm going to let you down again. I'm scared that I won't be everything you think I am, everything you want me to be.” Lance shook his head, “You don't get it, JC. I don't love the man I think you could be, I love the man you are. As long as you don't turn your back on me again, you won't let me down.” JC took Lance's hands in his, moving them from his face. He put Lance's hand over his heart, his own hand covering it. “I promise I won't leave you again. I promise I won't let you down, I won't run when the going gets tough. I promise to make this work.” Lance shook his head, “I can't believe this is actually happening.” JC inched closer to Lance, moving Lance's knees so they were on either side of him. He reached out and brushed the hair above Lance's ear, trailing his fingers behind his ear and down his neck. “Believe it,” he whispered. Lance looked up and caught JC's eyes. In the darkness of the room, their eyes met, their breaths caught in their throats. Through the blackness they could make out the color of their souls, the color of their love, knowing it was reflected it the others' eyes. Neither one of them knew who moved first. JC's hand came back to Lance's neck, Lance's hand found JC's free hand, squeezing it, tugging him closer. JC leaned forward the same time Lance did, meeting each other half way. Lance closed his eyes and JC took a second to scan his face, smiling slightly at the look of breathless anticipation on Lance's relaxed features. JC closed his own eyes the split second their lips met, not wanting to miss a moment of Lance. Their kiss was tentative, wary, neither one of them knowing what it was going to be like. JC was the first to lean closer, moaning softly into Lance's mouth, pulling him closer with the hand that rested on Lance's neck. Lance pulled JC closer, moving to the floor to kneel next to JC. JC licked gently at Lance's lips, and Lance immediately responded, opening his mouth to JC's, wrapping his arms around his neck, JC's free hand coming up to caress Lance's cheek. Their tongues tentatively met, the kiss slow, not building in intensity, but building in emotions. They took their time, each man knowing they had all the time in the world to take things further. Lance knew this was what he had been waiting for. The months of secretly desiring JC paid off. The weeks, the days, the hours of wondering what could be was finally happening. The minutes wasted while they weren't speaking to each other were forgotten. All that mattered was that JC was here, in his arms, right where he belonged, and Lance wasn't going to ever let him go. JC was amazed at the feel of Lance's lips on his. It was as if their mouths were made for each other. He had never felt anything like Lance's lips before, the combination of soft lips and rough skin, the slight taste of the soda Lance had been drinking, the musky scent of being so close to Lance. His past relationships with women were now a distant memory. Nothing mattered before Lance, it was as if his life was starting over again. Starting over with Lance at his side. And there was no place in the world he would rather start.